For us breast-feeders, there's nothing so lovely, so intimate and so ... well ... spiritual than connecting to our babies with gentle nourishment. My challenge was not Mass: it was my Uncle's saloon in Wisconsin - where I was visiting with him. When I leaned over the bar and said, "Carol needs to eat so I'm just going to nurse her here" he blushed, reddened as only the Irish can do and stammered, "Oh my gosh, no, no, you can't do that ... we have customers here!" My laughing aunt intervened, called him "so old fashioned" and gave me a comfortable chair. So, like the veteran Mom at Mass, I too had the wonderful loving support of another woman ... so my baby got her breast milk while my uncle and his pals got their beers!

Thank you, Kate---what a beautiful article. I look forward to nursing #8 in all the places of life!

I breastfed my 4 children whenever/wherever they needed to eat! Now my daughter has done the same with my 5 grandchildren. Isn't it wonderful??!!
Good for you, Kate!!

Kate,

I think perhaps every parish should have a statue of Our Lady of La Leche to encourage timid mothers to be unafraid of breastfeeding their babies at Mass. If Mary is frozen in statue form, feeding the baby Jesus, then there'll always be at least one other well-known mom in church breastfeeding with you!

I've never been able to put my finger on it, and I'm still trying to figure it out, but there is a sort of Catholic puritanism in America that threatens our understanding of the sacramentality of life. It is the sort of impulse that drives the legitimate concern for modesty into a sort of guilty obsession. While Europeans seem often enough to be entirely too lax with displaying the human body, we are terrified of it. Not sure where the happy medium is.

To be fair, as a young husband and father I see both sides. I want my wife to be able to feed the babies as necessary without worrying. On the other hand, some breastfeeding moms are less than discrete, and an unsheathed breast in Mass (or anywhere) is still a distraction for most of us helplessly un-boobophobic guys. (So thanks to the moms who make a concerted effort to cover up while nursing!)

I think that being discrete, as you've mentioned, is the key.

Kate, is nothing personal?!!! For goodness sake, keep some things private!!!!

Kate, is nothing personal?!!! For goodness sake, keep some things private!!!!

While I can appreciate your love of breast feeding, you have to be appreciative and respectful of those who do not wish to view your breasts out there for public view. I am a young mother myself and feel very strongly that there is something called modesty, respect, tactfulness, common sense, decency and thinking of others before self. Yes, breast feeding is a "natural part of life," some of us just don't need to see it. The same could be said of other bodily functions, yet do we relieve ourselves in the middle of the mall or during Mass? No, we excuse ourselves and take care of our business elsewhere. Please learn to be a little more respectful of others. Not everything needs to be out there in the open. I'm proud of you if you need that affirmation of your ability to nurse, however, I never needed to shout it from the mountain tops nor do most other women. Let's keep some things a bit more private. And for crying out loud, Mass is NOT the place to be nursing!!!! It's distracting for those who attend Mass for what it is - a prayer and form of worship! We should be focused on the Eucharist, not having to fight the distraction of someone whipping it out next to us to feed her little suckling.

I am a mother of 4 and have breastfed about anywhere even on a lawn chair for sale in Walmart. Discreet is the WORD here. I cannot abide mothers sticking their boob out in Public for all to see. IT's so crude even to the point where you can see the outer line of the areola while the child is feeding. Women need to cover themselves up, only sickos want to see your breast. I always put a receiving blanket over one shoulder and pulled it out over the baby . Plenty of air and plenty of room. No need to make a big show like "look at me",. At the end of the day we do it for our childs health etc not for show.

<b>The Sacred Fire of Woman: Reconnecting of sacred realities</b>


Sin regrets, love begets
in enchantment nothing compares
but beauty is not for auction
lest Hell we purchase there

Enticement's ends are more of you,
what's less the good eschew
Steal this Fire for selfish ends
and God will conquer you

In the spring of youth she blossoms
and bees come 'round the Tree
what creation adores is awesome
but this is not for free

The milk of Love is holy
and men forget its cost
a curse where sin acts boldly
with what eternal Loss

So now the great unlearning
what men have failed to tell
be careful of your burning
and what the Liars sell

One and one are thwarted
but three begins the quest
from love to Love is started
with vows to gives us Rest

Ask yourself, "What did Mary do"?
She of course nursed Jesus, perhaps until the age of 3 or 4 yrs., like many good Jewish mothers.
If it was important enough for Mary then let
mothers follow her wonderful example & breastfeed their babies, where both Jesus & His Mother our present, at Mass.

It’s disappointing, albeit not surprising, to see the prudery from some who posted; perhaps even borderline Manichaeism (soul good; body bad). A little study in JPII’s Theology of the Body (I suggest Christopher West’s TOB for beginners, christopherwest.com) will give a lot of clarity.

Quite simply, our bodies, properly used according to God’s plan, reveal God Himself (we see the invisible in the physical). If we could only see, AS GOD INTENDED, the beauty of a Mother nursing her child, we would be awestruck.

The problem isn’t breastfeeding, even at Mass. The problem is the “needed fig leaf” or impurity, from which many/most view it. Remember, Adam and Eve were “naked without shame” before original sin.

Thanks to John Paul II (who by the way, removed the loin cloths at the Vatican), though his great wisdom of scripture he has given us in depth meaning of the “body”. It’s mind-blowing theology.

Furthermore, Google (image search) Virgin Mary and breastfeeding or some similar combo. One will find many “and yes beautiful” pictures of Mary nursing Jesus. Our culture distorts/distorted breasts, sex, and all things related. It’s because of the the Church’s LOVE for it, not embarrassment, that they protect it so severely.

This is once again, "don't tell me what to do/ say society". First of all, it's not your house, it's GOD's! Secondly, it's a place of worship, not for feeding infants.
You have every right to feed your infant in the privacy of your home. Me and most people don't want to see your breast or nipple exposed when all are suppose to be concentrating on the liturgy and the Holy, unbloody sacrifice of the Mass.
Since we have spineless leaders in the church, it will take the Church Militant to take your breastfeeding elsewhere.

I admire your commitment to breastfeed your infant on demand, but I must tell you that it is inappropriate to do it at Mass. There are many wonderful things in life, but there is a time and place for everything.

At Mass, the miraculous consecration of the bread and wine into the Body & Blood of Christ is the focal point that requires the love and concentration of everyone in the church. A natural event such as breastfeeding should not interfere with the miraculous. You could be responsible for distracting others and taking away from their reverant participation in Mass. I would not want to have that on my conscience.

If you must breastfeed your child at some point during Mass, it would be better for you and more respectful to the Lord, to leave your pew for a few minutes and find a quiet, hidden place within the church.

Please re-think your position. I am all for breastfeeding, but sorry.... this is a lack of respect for the Body & Blood of Christ.

Those of us who grew up in the TRUE Catholic Church
...as opposed to the ecumenical fraud spawned by
Vatican II....will recall that uniquely Catholic
expression, "an occasion of sin". Remember? It
referred to persons, places or things that could
lead someone into sin. In publicly nursing her baby
Mrs. Wicker may be unwittingly such an occasion of
sin for hormone-driven teenagers, perverts and even
normal men who are aroused by any attention called
to the female breast. There is no need for a mother
to nurse in public when she could just as easily
use a breast pump and a baby bottle to provide food
for her baby at any time and in any place. Mothers
who nurse in public may have only the best possible
reasons for doing so, but for others, such public
display may be an embarrassment, a distraction,
an annoyance and, yes, an occasion of sin.

Wonderful article, Kate! Some of the people who replied here act like you want to have your breasts out there for everyone to see in church, but they have the wrong idea. As a young father, my wife breastfed our infant and usually I never knew she was doing it, nor did anyone else. A small towel covers the act totally. Yes, she breastfed during Mass, and every priest we asked encouraged her to do so. The prudish posters need to ask themselves: would they rather have a hungry baby SCREAMING during Mass? I don't think so. Also, does anyone really think Jesus would be upset at a mother for giving nourishment to her child in church? That's not the Jesus I know... if you think that He would be upset, perhaps you should get to know Our Lord and His Mother a little better with this subject in mind. God is love, and breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful God-given gift, not something to be ashamed of. As PJPII believed, breastfed babies grow up to be smarter and healthier... it's a proven fact!

It's a matter of "poor taste and judgement." When you go to Mass, you are not in your own home. Would you bare your breast at the dinner table at your husband's boss's house?

Some people were never taught manners and respect for others. That is the problem with today's society. We think the world revolves around US and if it upsets someone else, we are "offended" and don't want to hear about it, shutting down the opinions and feelings of others.

When we're at Mass, we're there to enter into a prayerful spirit and remain focused on the liturgy. Think of how distracting it might be for the people around you to bare your breasts and start nursing. Why can't you be polite and tactful and quietly excuse yourself and go in the back, to a cry room, the rectory or another place out of the way and nurse where it is a bit more appropriate? My little ones don't need to see your breasts. My husband doesn't need to see your breasts. I certainly don't want to see your breasts either. Breast pumps and bottles are readily available these days. We're not living in the early days of the Church where this technology was not available to us.

The attitude displayed in the article is one of vanity, pride and self-absorption. Keep the things that should be private - private. Use common sense and be a bit more tolerant and mindful of how others might feel. Let's keep the focus on Christ during Mass and not offer up any more distractions than necessary.

Oh for goodness sakes, Kate isn't proclaiming "stop the mass; baby needs to eat." Even more so, she clearly is discreet.

For all the responsers against (based on prudery/false modesty), I have a few quesitons for you.

Do you become this bothered with scantily clad dressed women, or sometimes, even men in shorts and flipflops?

Do you get this bothered when the majortiy of Communion recipitents show no sign of reverance, not even a bow of the head, subsequently, receive the Eucharist like they are having a ticket punched at a movie theater?

Are you bothered by the "chit chat" superfluous talking that takes place in most parishes both before, during, and after mass, with no regrad for the presence of Christ or that some may actually want to pray in silence (image that)?

Are you aware that JPII once gave Communion (and was photgraphed) to a bare breasted women (I believe in Africa)? It's a famous photo, should be easy to find. Culturally, this was "the norm."

Last but not least, do you fit any of the above, and if not, do you speak out against such distractions?

Our culture is so distorted from God's plan for us (and our bodies), it's obvious that many, including Catholics, don't understand modesty and or the difference between a scantily clad dressed women and or a mother breastfeeding, one being a misuse of the body, the other, God's intented use/even more so, his "language."

I am so saddened by some of the hateful responses to this article. I know that Jesus taught us to behave MUCH differently! I have personally never nursed my children at mass, but am not bothered by those who do. I have never seen anyone "whip it out" or even seen skin exposed. Any nursing mothers I have seen were very discreet. You would not have been able to tell if they were nursing, or just snuggling their baby underneath a blanket. And for all those who feel so strongly that mass is not the place to feed children I pose this question: What exactly do you think mothers did in the days before formula and breast pumps? Did they stay away from the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass just because they needed to feed a child? Absolutely not! They kept their Sunday Mass obligation, as well as the one to practice family planning according to God's Law. That meant LOTS of babies at mass...being nursed, if needed. If you are one of the people who is bothered by nursing mothers at mass, I would offer that you need to PRAY harder for the grace of being undistracted. I would venture a guess that you are distracted by many things at mass, not the least of which is a nursing mother. I too, must pray for the grace to fully focus at mass, but do not blame it on another's behavior...whether or not I agree with it. If I am prayerful enough, I can focus on the Eucharist through anything. I pray that you will be given the grace to do this as well.

God Bless

Could not have said it better!

Jim, it's not your house either. So as you make judgment on another, do everyone a favor and turn that militant eye of yours upon yourself. The "leaders" of which you speak are 1)a successor of Peter and has been given his role as Pope by God, 2) Bishops that are successors of Christ's apostles and 3) priests that act "in Persona Christi" and are charged w/ absolving sins and consecrating the Eucharist." So as you make these comments about our leaders, remember that they are your superiors in Christ and demand the respect of their office sir. I'm not so naive as to believe that there are not bad priests, bishops, and in a few cases throughout history Popes; but I will not make inflammatory and scandalous comments about those who have been put over me in the Church. Nor will I threaten to take back the church in a militant fashion. It is our duty to pray for the conversion of those who have lost their way. As a member of the Roman Catholic Church you should express you discontent to your priest, then your bishop and so on.
As for your comment about not wanting to see her breast or nipple, that's ridiculous. A nursing mother can easily feed her child w/out anyone seeing her breast or nipple.

I have never nursed in church, I don't think, because I was busy playing the organ for Mass, usually. But I have nursed in a restaurant. It means wearing a two piece outfit with a long top, and something to cover the baby. Baby's needs come first and if a big family outing to a restaurant means baby gets fed, too, so be it. No one ever objected. I believe the world NEEDS to see babies being breastfed, to remind people that God made breasts to nurse little ones, not to be on display for the whole world to see. Women have lost the sense of modesty, and breastfeeding in public does NOT contribute to that-it brings us all back to reality. What a wonderful witness public breastfeeding can be! God bless you all.

Make no mistake about it. There is definitely a
Satan-inspired plan to degrade every aspect of
motherhood and destroy its holiness and dignity
intended by God. You don't believe it? Well, for
instance, what about those disgraceful so-called
"belly shirts" worn even in the late stages of
pregnancy? Those shirts completely expose the
naked belly to public view. This is dignified???
And how about this: Years ago Hollywood careers
were destroyed and some actresses even committed
suicide when they became pregnant outside of
marriage. Not anymore. Now the news media gush over this or that ditzy starlet who is expecting by her latest boyfriend. And have you seen that TV program where family and friends gather in the delivery room to watch and photograph the mother
as she gives birth? Dear God in Heaven!! What on
earth is wrong with such people? Have they no
brains at all? Has the mother herself no sense
of modesty and of the sacredness of giving birth?
Has childbirth finally become a spectator sport?
Now, too, we have In Vitro Fertilization by donor
which is just another name for hi-tech adultery.
We even have lesbian "couples" getting pregnant
by donor. Vice President and Mrs. Cheney welcomed
their lesbian daughter's child as if she were
in a normal marriage. And the most sinful of all, abortion, gives a mother the "right" to murder her baby in the womb. Oh, how Satan must love all this! What better way to get back at the Blessed Mother, whom he hates, than by degrading ALL mothers? Nursing a baby in public is just one
small part of the plan.

As a single devout woman who attends Mass on a daily basis, there is nothing more distracting and disturbing than a mother who is insensitive to others out of place as far as her children which leads to misbehaved children.

Distracting others during Mass is I believe SINFUL. While I am trying to stay recollected during the consecration, I have children left, right, front and behind getting out their baggies with cheerios, animal crackers, pretzels and even yesterday an apple fell from the pew and rolled to my foot which caused a scene for the mother, father, child and siblings until it was fetched. I was horrified but did not want to move pews to disturb others and offered it up praying they would have a little more discretion and manners the next time.

I would put breastfeeding during Mass in this category. It is not appropriate in the least and should be done privately. Yes, God has intended the breast for this but he also intended the dining room for dining, etc. When women become mothers they make sacrifices and do not have the same life they had where they could go hither thither and yon on a whim.

God bless you

Terry, I don't disagree with you in most repectes . Even good things, like "children at mass" AND breastfasting CAN be distractions. That said, Kate clearly shows discretion, so much so, that she and baby are probably the only ones aware that an actual feeding is taking place.

I also think children belong at mass, we are all family afterall. However, just like "whip it out in your face breastfeeding", which is NOT what Kate is endorsing, out of control children also need to be attended to, especially crying babies who drown out hearing the mass (that's why there are crying rooms).

There's a big differnece between an "entitlement", 'it's my baby, my breast, I'll feed anywhere and everywhere I darn well please' and a breatfeeding mother using the utmost discretion, of the likes of Kate.

Terry as a daily communicant, I suspect you would agree that having every nursing mother praying the Holy Mass would be far greater for the world than those same mothers sitting at home, or at the mall, "not wanting to offend." I'll take a church full of nursing mothers any day of the week, provided they are as discreet as Kate; no question the world could use the prayers!

Maybe someone should start a "mommy and me" Mass movement. Imagine all those innocent babes (and moms) being soaked in the graces of the mass, just for "being there!"

As a man I would say that breastfeeding women need to be very discreet when breastfeeding anywhere in public, especially in church. The photo at the top of this article may be in good taste, but it still presents a stumbling block to men. Yes, breastfeeding is beautiful. However, we live in a broken world with broken natures. The last thing you want to do is lead someone to serious sin, especially at Mass.

Praised be Jesus.

I agree that babies can be breastfed discreetly at Mass and it can be a necessity, especially the more children you have. Your article made me think of when I was on the parish council of our Church, our pastor complained about women nursing babies in the pews. I was the only member of the council that was nursing a baby at the time and felt singled out and greatly embarrassed. Fortunately, now our parish has a place where you can go and listen to the mass while nursing a baby in private. This is what I have done out of respect for my pastor's feelings, but I wish people would be more understanding to the needs of families, especially when it comes to breastfeeding.

God Bless,

Amy

An article by Christopher West is what inspired me to write this article. I'm going to take the easy way out rather than addressing everyone's comments indvidually and share some of the article here. I also want to mention that I'm not saying we should be giving kids of all ages snacks at Mass. My preschooler is not allowed any food or drinks in Mass. We are supposed to be fasting before receiving the Eucharist and children (even those who have not made their First Communion yet) can wait to nosh until after Mass.

However, babies' wants and needs are the same thing. A hungry baby needs to be fed and cannot be spoiled by responding to his/her needs. (This may spur another debate). Also, as some of you have pointed out, nursing DISCREETLY is key. Even when I'm at the beach where women are walking around in string bikinis, I nurse so discreetly most people wouldn't have any idea I was feeding my baby.

Still, I'm always amazed by how the idea of nursing still makes so many people uncomfortable. So without further ado, here's an excerpt from Christopher West's article entitled "Nursing a Sexually Wounded Culture."

"I remember attending the Second World Meeting of John Paul II with Families in Brazil in 1997. Nursing mothers were a common sight at this international gathering. What I found intriguing, however, was that women from “first-world” nations tended to drape themselves and sit off in a corner, while women from other nations seemed to have no qualms whatsoever about feeding their babies in full view of others. I remember one woman unabashedly roaming the crowd passing all manner of bishops and cardinals with her breast fully exposed while her child held on to it with both hands happily feeding. The only people flinching seemed to be those from the northern hemisphere.

Isn’t it interesting that the part of the world producing the most pornography and exporting it to the rest of the globe has seemed to lose all sense of the true meaning of the human breast? What a commentary on the sad state of our sexually wounded culture! Breasts have been so “pornified” that we can fall into thinking that even their proper use is shameful. In other words, we have been so conditioned to see a woman’s body through the prism of lust that we find it very difficult to recognize the purity and innocence of breast-feeding.

St. Paul hit the nail on the head when he said, “To the pure all things are pure, but to the impure nothing is pure” (Ti 1:15). It is a tragically impure world that labels the purity of a baby at the breast as “gross.”"

God bless!

I'm not sure if anyone's mentioned it yet but don't pump and then feed later - it gives the baby nipple confusion and would be the beginning of the end for successful breastfeeding. The very idea seems like too much work. I breastfed at mass and it was no big deal - everyone assumes that you are holding a sleeping baby. The negative comments you received about it in this column far exceed what you would receive in reality. God bless you and your (well fed) child.

Reading a statement like this, I am puzzled that Kate would be shy about nursing in Mass. It seems as though she is only concerned a her family's ability to "move and shake".

The article looses some credibility when when the "its all about me attitude" is inserted.

There is a time and a place for everything including breast feeding [in public]. Some do it well and some do it poorly. Ususally common sense and common courtesy differentiate the two.




Breast feeding is not an option for everyone. Shortly after we were married my wife and I found out we couldn't have children of our own. God led us to start a family through adoption. My wikfe would have liked to breat feed but it was not an option.

All comments like this do is hurt people in our situation.

People should just be happy they can have kids and breast feed them at all and not be worried about wheather they have the right to breast feed in Mass.

The picture at the top of the article is misleading. That is a woman in bed with a night gown on and NOT how someone would breastfeed at mass. Sheesh! Everybody covers with a blanket. I felt kind of shy about it at first but it worked out ok and the only comments I ever got about breastfeeding in public were supportive. I support you.

If your baby absolutely MUST be fed during the 60 minutes of Mass, most parishes have a cry-room. The purpose of this amenity is for the VERY natural reasons that may be a distraction or even disruptive to many worshippers (and perhaps the priest)- children being children, breastfeeding mothers needing to nurse in church... I recall a visitor at Christmas Mass who positioned herself (arrived early) in the front pew and nursed during the Consecration - it was pretty dramatic and took away from the Mass. I think the reason the author had zero problem with breastfeeding anywhere but Church (and I agree) initially is called her CONSCIENCE...

Whoa! What is a nursing baby doing at Mass in the first place? Mom and dad should take turns going to Mass. Mom can go to the 8:00a while dad stays home with the baby. When mom comes home to take over, then it's dad's turn to go to a later Mass. In case baby gets hungry while mom is at Mass, mom uses a breast pump and stores her milk for when it's needed for dad to use. Although this arrangement might be inconvenient for mom and dad, having children requires all kinds of sacrifice. It's not about mom and dad. Better that just two people be making a sacrifice than their inconveniencing or disturbing or distracting who knows how many others at Mass.

Aaron, with all due respect for your right to
disagree with Jim's views, I disagree with YOUR
views regarding the ALLEGED leaders of the Church
since Vatican II. Take, for instance, Benedict XVI.
Did you know that at Vatican II, Cardinal Ratzinger
as he was then known, refused to attend the Council
meetings in his priestly garb? He preferred to
wear a suit and tie, like a layman. And take JPII,
the former Cardinal Wojtyla.
In addressing the Council bishops, he made the
incredibly anti-Catholic comment that "It is not
the Church's place to teach unbelievers. She must
seek in common with the world...Let us avoid any
spirit of monopolizing and moralizing." Consider
that quotation very carefully, Aaron. Here we have a future "pope" arrogantly contradicting
Our Lord's command to "Go forth and teach all
nations...." This is the same JPII who reverently KISSED the blasphemous Koran of the
Christ-hating Muslims. If you don't believe it,
try Googling the words "John Paul Kissed Koran"
and you will see a photo of him doing that
scandalous act. Do you honestly believe, Aaron,
that a true Vicar of Christ could betray Him as
the Vatican II "popes" have done? You need to do
some serious research, Aaron, because it is YOU
who have lost your way. Finally, I almost had to
laugh at your suggestion that we should express
our discontent to our priests, bishops, etc. Let
me tell you what happened when I tried to do just
that in 1974. I wrote a long, respectful letter
to Bishop Ahr of Trenton, NJ, asking to have the
Traditional Latin Mass returned to my parish. I
then posted a copy of my letter on the parish
bulletin board. When my pastor, Fr. Pluta, saw
it, he was furious. When I went in person to
speak to him, he called me a trouble-maker and
said to me, "Get out of here. Go on. Beat it."

Nice way for a priest to speak to a woman, right?
As for Bishop Ahr, he completely ignored my letter...never answered me. His Secretary, who
was Father (now "Bishop") Kmiec, had the chancery office switchboard operator give me the run-around, telling me that he was suddenly called out of town, right after she had told me to hold on while she waited for him to pick up
the phone and take my call.

So much for expressing our discontent to our
"leaders", Aaron. Face it, friend. That bunch
in the Vatican are not the true leaders of Our
Lord's Church. They have usurped the papacy and
betrayed Him to every pagan religion on earth,
all for the sake of being politically correct and
"ecumenical". And finally, Aaron, consider the
actions of Benedict and John Paul in regard to
the child-abuse scandal. A TRUE Vicar of Christ.
which they WERE NOT AND ARE NOT, would have
unfrocked and excommunicated every priest and
bishop involved in it. Ratzinger and Wojtyla did
no such thing. They promoted the villains.

Anyone who really wants to get back to TRUE Catholicism should seek out the
priests and bishops of the Society of St. Pius V.

The hate and anger expressed in so many of these posts just floors me!

It seems that those who are affronted by the idea of nursing are not hearing what the others are saying - that it is entirely possibly to nurse in public and no one know.

If my baby was co-operative, I nursed in the pew. If s/he were not, I tried to leave as discreetly as possible from my pew.

I am simply flabbergasted by the self centeredness of some people commenting here. Those who have posted such hostile comments would do well the take a look at what Jesus had to say about the Pharasies and following the letter of the law as well as what he said about loving one's neighbour, casting the first stone etc.

In all of the negative posts about nursing not one person was able to directly point out a personal experience of having observed a woman nursing her child in an indiscreet manner. Yet every person who posted in favour of nursing in the Mass, has reiterated the view that discreet is the key.

To the gentleman who was offended and hurt because his wife could not nurse - this was not about the pros and cons of bottle feeding. This was about a woman's struggle to determine if she could discreetly feed her baby during MASS and not be a distraction to others. I don't recall her discussing bottle feeding. I think you are being over sensitive.

To those who say to just pump and bottle feed - you clearly have either never tried to nurse, or were blessed with a baby that took a bottle sans complaints. Not all of us have been that blessed.

To the Terry who said; "When women become mothers they make sacrifices and do not have the same life they had where they could go hither thither and yon on a whim." may I ask since when is attending Sunday Mass a whim???

To those who say parents should split families up and attend Mass separately - I remind you of Jesus who told the disciples to bring the little ones to me.

I finish by once again pointing out my shock and sadness at the display of the lack of love or charity shown in many of these posts. Have we forgotten we are the one true church of Christ, can we not share a difference of opinion with more love and tolerance.
United we stand, divided we fall and THIS is what delights the devil, not women discreetly nursing their babies the way God intended "natural" born children to be fed. (Natural was used so as to differentiate from adopted children who, of necessity, must be bottle fed! And praise be to God for the unwed mothers who give birth to their child and to the couples who open their hearts and homes to these children)

Wow! While I don't believe I ever breastfed at Mass myself (partly I suspect because I always ended up having to supplement breastfeeding with bottles, so I always had a bottle on hand), I'm stunned at some of the reactions.... Actually, no I am not, because I used to face reactions from a woman who informed me that I should leave my youngest at home because she was a "distraction" at Mass. The three well-behaved older children could come.

My upbringing stopped me from pointing out to her that the three "well-behaved" children were so because I BROUGHT them to Mass when they weren't so well behaved, and they learned. (I also refrained from mentioning that Christ did say to "bring the little children unto" Him....He never said "bring 'em by when they quit fussing and can stay silent".)

By the way, that "distraction" is now very well behaved.

I doubt any woman who attends Mass on a regular basis has any desire to display her breast to all and sundry. Chances are that they are near the back of the church or (when it is available) up in the balcony. And yes, it is God's House...and He designed the primary purpose of a breast to feed our children...the fact that our husbands find them attractive as well is a secondary purpose.

My opinion would be...feed away...keep it discrete, but do so. If we are to avoid the "near occasion" of sin, then don't look. Allow the infant to eat in peace.

Wow. Catherine, you have some very harsh opinions. How selfish of you to think that I should split up my family. By your standards we wouldn't have attended mass together more than a handful of times in the last 14 years.

We are considerate of others and fussy children are taken out. Some I have nursed during Mass, some I have not. Depended on the kid, some of mine were loud or active and it was impossible to nurse discreetly, so I didn't, and the priest. We sit up near the front and it was obvious that my nursing, however discreetly, was a distraction to our new, young priest. Out of respect for him, I now take the baby out if he needs to nurse during Mass. See, it's all about being considerate of other people and not just being focused on what you want.

A passage in the bible suggests the apostles were concerned for Jesus when children were being children and wanted to see Him.
I think you know the one.
I am an usher at a parish. We have children who are at a variety of stages of life. All are welcome - no exceptions. If they are too loud - we suggest the parenting room.
Bring the children - be parents, and our Father will also be there.

It seems obvious that anyone who has even read this article is trying to be the best Catholic they can be, with whatever knowledge and wisdom they have accumulated up to this point. Let us keep searching for Truth and do our best to live charitably. This has always been difficult, and the times are especially confusing. Division is always a sign of the enemy, so said St. Pio.

James, my heart goes out to you and your wife, but you must be very special to God to have been given this cross.You are saints in the making! The place set aside for you in Heaven must be high. You chose to adopt...a higher degree of love BY FAR than the natural love that is built in to a biological parent. GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY! Let us all pray for James and his family!

If people feel offended by public breastfeeding,(and most people do) why do it? Love is not RUDE and not self righteous.

Not being distracted during Mass is a GIFT from God! It can be taken away at any time. Be careful not to ever assume YOU have done something by your own "goodness".

I am a neonatal nurse and nipple confusion is NOT an issue! One nipple may be preferred to the other, but it will NOT end breastfeeding. What about women who HAVE to work, even if they would rather be home with their baby? They pump and their husband feeds the baby.

That is why it is correct when someone said, being a parent means SACRIFICE! Mass may have to be attended separately, even if you hate it that way. And it is not always possible to be "discreet". I have heard babies (under blankets)swallowing/gulping loudly during Mass as well as losing their connection to the nipple, ending in a sometimes loud sucking noise,followed by them spitting up their milk, which becomes a total distraction, even if I am praying not to notice. I think breastfeeding is an amazing gift from God to YOU, mothers! Too many of you are prideful at what great mothers you think you are because you breast feed. Be honest with yourselves! Is breastfeeding your baby during Mass a 911 emergency? What about a pacifier? Or do you need to feel as if the only comfort in the world your baby can have is YOU and your breast? Some of you in truth have more of a need to feel important and needed, and you are afraid of not being needed and important. You know that one missed breastfeeding will not cause MALNUTRITION!

Do you nurse your baby while at the same time being intimate with your husband? Don't you understand that the most intimate moment of your lives and all the lives of the people in Mass is taking place right then and there?

I am 100% for breastfeeding, and we need loving mothers who are close to their children and their husbands. But we also have to be considerate of the comfort level of others. If other people's discomfort caused by you can be spared, it should. That is love in action. Sacrificing what we want ourselves for the sake of another.

With all due respect, I think that it is TOTALLY inappropriate to be doing this at Mass and it seems very exhibitionistic. You say that your child is fed "every hour or two," so why couldn't you just do it right BEFORE Mass or wait until afterwards, in the car? Again, I mean no offense, but I think this is very attention-seeking behavior and you should check your motives. Church is not the place for this.

I can't agree with breastfeeding at Mass. There are more discreet ways of doing that and many churches now have cry rooms for this purpose. I have noticed that people who support breastfeeding wherever and whenever they want are absolutely militant about it. Its down- right creepy. Sex is also a beautiful bonding moment created by God - do we do this in a church?

Thank you, Kate Wicker, for posting the excerpt from Christopher West's article! It is exactly right.

Many young women today think that breastfeeding is somehow disgusting because they think of breasts as purely sexual. Thus they miss out on the beautiful, nurturing, and intimate physical experience of nursing their babies. (I breastfed all four of my children, who are now grown up.) We have photos of my two-year-old daughter nursing her baby doll, and now she is a young mother who has nursed her own babies!

Sorry, I just can't imagine anything wrong with breastfeeding a baby in church. I have never done so, mostly because my home parish was very unwelcoming to babies when mine were small. My husband, who had not yet become a Catholic at the time, stayed home with my little ones. (My parish is much more child-friendly now!)

I gently suggest that those who think that breastfeeding is somehow immodest think about their assumptions about sexuality and a woman's body. Breastfeeding in church is absolutely nothing like giving birth in public, and it is not a provocation to lust. In fact, I think that understanding of motherhood is an antidote to lust.

Our "first-world" cultural standards do require nursing mothers to be discreet, but there is no reason that they should need to leave the building or head to the ladies' room--which, by the way, usually doesn't have chairs for nursing moms. Many churches don't have crying rooms, and I feel a bit of conflict about crying rooms anyway. The Church is a big family. Yes, babies and children can be distracting during Mass, but maybe we all need to learn how to love and forgive each other.

Finally, a little story. My beloved mother-in-law was the daughter of Italian immigrants and breastfed her sons in the 1950s, at a time when most women bottle fed. One day she was nursing her baby when the mailman came to the door, delivering the mail. He was an older man and started to cry when he saw her. He said, "This is my last day of work before I retire, and I never thought I would see a woman feeding her baby like this again. Thank you!" Our culture has had many years of separating a woman's body from her roles of nurturing and mothering. The trend won't be reversed in a day or a year, but with God's grace someday our culture's attitudes may change.

Just thought I'd throw in the fact that the Vatican has a very famous painting by Raphael (wall-sized mural) entitled "Charity" where a mother with both breasts exposed is nursing two children (and holding a very wiggly looking third on her lap!).
My baby eats every hour day and night and refuses bottles. I literally would never go to Mass at all if I could not feed her. People who claim that this is impossible: listen up, it is possible and I am living proof. If it hasn't happened to you, thank God that He decided not to give you that particular cross, and don't judge the rest of us.

I am absolutely positive that Kate is NOT talking
about exposing her breast in church. Anyone who has nursed a baby knows that they MUST be fed when they demand to be fed. A blanket or towel over the shoulder/babies head and a shirt that pulls up from the bottom will do the trick. I will bet that ONLY another nursing mother would know what is going on. STOP with the silly comments! This is nuts!!!

Kate, you are a wonderful writer and a selfless mother. I pray that the negative comments do not discourage you, but encourage you to do what I am going to do now in response, which is pray for the people who obviously need it.
Lord please encourage Kate, and all mothers of young children, to continue to do what is best for their children. Please Lord, forgive those who speak hatred and encourage all mothers, regardless of their personal choices, for they are all doing what they think is best for their children. Help us to love and encourage one another, instead of tearing each other down. Thank you Jesus.

I really don't want to debate this further. Thank you to those who have offered their support and prayers.

My last two cents:

Honestly, I'd prefer to not nurse in Mass or even in public, but life means we aren't always at home. If I am to be open to life, then I will often have often have a nursing baby in tow AND older children. Thus, I have to breastfeed in public out of necessity, not narcissism.

But that's not the point of the article at all. In fact, I did not write any of that out of my love for breastfeeding or even my love for my children. It was really about my love for Christ and my desire to be at his table as often as possible, even when I have a nursing infant. Somehow that point got lost when I mentioned the word "breast."

The point is, I want to go to Mass and I think Jesus wants me there, too, hungry baby and all.

p.s. I actually use something called the "Modest Mum Nursing Cover" when I nurse. It has the word "modest" in it because it's for modest moms who want to and who are blessed to be able to breastfeed their children.

God bless. Peace and prayers...

Those without children are a riot to read about. you have NO clue what its like to raise children-especially toddlers!

Have a child and you'll see your opinions change-mine did! I use to get pissed at screaming babies on airplanes and wondered why the parent didn't give them a pacifier, bottle, food, toy, etc to make them happy. NOW, I UNDERSTAND! It isn't like that. Babies just cry.....

As for breastfeeding, gotta love how it works. Thats what boobies are for. Or did you miss that in human developement. Not all babies will take bottles and pacifiers. Its a personal preference for them. Some of us for various reasons are unable to pump. So breastfeeding a baby is our only option. And again, for those without kids, babies have their own schedules. They nurse when they chose too.

And for goodness sakes, the picture at the top is annoying, a blanket is widely used. WHen nursing baby at mass-nurse the same as anywhere in public-with a blanket to cover it up! Baby is happy and so is everyone else. If you are scandelized by seeing a mother with her baby snuggling under a blanket-then you have a wild imagination. God help you.

Keep the cat claws in, have babies, and be happy!

As a few have stated, babies just cry, they don't have self-discipline, and neither can they much know the need for it. I have heard it said that they are totally ego-centric, and that's the way we start out, and for a baby, that's probably a good thing, being so vulnerable. They cannot much communicate another way than crying, because they can't have learnt that much.

As such babies need to be fed in good an proper time. As far as I can tell the mature female breast has the primary purpose of feeding babies. It may be rather attractive to males, but its primary purpose is for feeding babies, for which purpose God probably made it attractive to men, in finding a good mother for children.

This being said, I find it appropriate for a mother to feed her child insofar as she prudently can. Abstaining for an hour at Mass I don't think is an adequate reason, provided discretion is involved.

If some of the mother's breast is seen, or even her nipple momentarily, by a male, it is a more manifest call to purity, that is not so readily seen elsewhere. Upon being seen the act of breastfeeding is a witness to God's goodness in the mother's love for her child in providing for it, and on seeing this goodness, a man can see how wrong it is and would be to lust, most especially in this situation. I cannot think of a situation of everyday life, that so encourages men to look at women purely (though other situations may shout the devastation of lust).

God bless you all,
Martin

Reading all of the ugly and hateful comments suggesting that breastfeeding in the pew at mass was extremely disheartening. How can anyone think that something as beautiful as a mother lovingly breastfeeding her child could be sinful or disrespectful? If someone is offended by public breastfeeding I think that should alert them to a problem that needs to be dealt with in the confessional regarding their distorted view of womens breasts. They should not be viewed as sexual objects. They are for the nourishment of children and nothing more. Because of this disorder that many Americans have we nursing mothers do cover up. This is not because of our own sin but because of the sin of others. I ask, if you cannot see the woman's breast while she is nursing,what is the big deal? Is it because you know that she is nursing? Why is the knowledge of a baby nursing any different from the knowledge that any woman has breasts under her shirt? Why is feeding a baby with a bottle acceptable during mass but a nursing baby not acceptable? What is the difference if there is no exposure of the breasts anyway?

I lived near the Amish who are pro-nursing. But when in public or even in the home, they would go to another room or a place set aside when it was time to nurse. And even then the child was covered with a diaper and a discreet atmospher was maintained. Never did they expose their breast in the presence of others not even other children in the family.

I look around at Mass and see teen girls and women often wearing tight tops with no sleeves and deep V-necks where the bra is showing and short skirts that would be downright shameful if the wearer leaned over.

These are people deliberately calling attention to their "assets" even at Mass.

I don't know any breastfeeders who "whip it out" with the intention of drawing attention. All the ones I know, myself included, try to be discreet.

I suspect that a hungry screaming infant is far more distracting to far more parishioners than a discreetly breastfeeding mom and baby.

Kate...you are very right. To the impure, nothing is pure.

God bless all the mothers.

Thank you for this article.

A mother nursing her child is the icon of the Church feeding her children on the sacraments.

To my mind, it is immodest to use a "hooter-hider" when nursing - people should see what breasts are for: they are for feeding babies, not oogling. Hello! Breasts are not about sex, they are about the end of sex: children.

When women breast feed their children in public, it is a sign of contradiction to the pornified culture, and it forces people to deal with the fact that woman is not an object, she is a person who is at the center of what is meaningful in life: transmitting life itself.

I'm sure everyone knows the story about Mother Theresa telling the young woman who wanted to do pro-life work that the best thing she could do is have lots of children. A big family.

I think that if our society, and Catholics, were being generous with having children as they should, nursing babies would be so commonplace that people wouldn't give it a second thought when they see their Mom's nursing them, even at Mass.

Kate, please, please don't listen to those who have no true knowledge of the issue. If I see you nursing at Mass, I won't know if your areola is exposed or not because I will avert my gaze. Just like I avert my nose as best possible when a homeless person is sitting right behind me, just like I avert my attention from the ADHD child in front of me as best possible. My focus will be on Christ, not on you. I know you are not vying for my attention.

Christ said, "Suffer the little children come unto me for such is the kingdom of God." Our Western civilization is based upon unattached parenting (boarding schools, nannies, day care)which has now been proven to breed all sorts of mental maladies. Your way, I assume, is that of attachment parenting. I laud this approach because it is most reflective of the parenting styles described in the bible. (A secular book, "The Continuum Concept" describes this concept very well.)

God bless you for raising a child who because of the attached lifestyle is 99% certain not to experience a need for drugs, excessive alcohol, extra-marital relations, pedophilia, or other vices in order to medicate the fact that his parents tossed him in a room to "cry it out" when he was only days or weeks old or forced him to live by their scheduled 3 meal a day routine (which his tiny body was not structured to endure).

God bless you and strengthen you for indeed even the elect have been deceived in this "enlightened" age. (Yesterday's reading told us that the mysteries were hidden "from the learned and the clever and revealed to mere children.") May you never put so- called "manners" above your child. And may God grant pardon and peace to all who have cast stones here against you because you have in no way sinned in this act of love.

I'll take crying babies and discreetly nursing moms over all the other distractions at the mass any day. Which is a closer occasion of sin: (a) A mother breastfeeding her child (with a blanket, as most do). (b) A teenage girl with her cleavage showing and pants so tight you can see her panty line.

VERY few parishes enforce the general dress guidelines in the church and as such you can sometimes see boys/men going up in sports jerseys or girl/women in skin tight shorts that are shorter than my boxers. Take the problems in order that they are needed. Get the priest to say the black and do the red, get the people to do their part (and only their part) and dress the part, then we can discuss whether or not breastfeeding in the pews should be a cause for concern.

As a 24 year old male, I can tell you that the proper use of breasts, while beautiful, is not sinfully provocative. The feeling that it does promote is actually a sense of fatherhood and protection. That feeling is no doubt an off shoot of the fact that I was raised to know that breastfeeding was normal and not dirty.

If it is done discretely, it is a beautiful testament to motherhood and God's design. And as many have stated, what you see in the picture above is not what you'd see at mass. Judging by the size of the baby, the mom's gown and her arm band, I'd say that is in the maternity ward.

God Bless All our Mothers!

I myself see nothing wrong with mothers feeding there babies at Mass.As far as any nudity in front of God,have we forgotten that Adam and Eve were naked in the presence of God.

Maybe someone should start a "mommy and me" Mass movement.

Please, please put this into practice!

I could not agree more with the poster who was distracted by the Cheerio-apples-crinkling-bags at Mass. During an otherwise lovely Mass, a child once screamed "bells, bells" at the consecration of both the host and the wine! Talk about distractions!

Discreet breastfeeding in public has never bothered me (assuming a receiving blanket is in place to assure modesty), but the Mass isn't the place for even more child-related distractions.

Also, as a married woman, even I find it tough not to look at an exposed breast. Hormonally challenged teens would be spellbound -- and not in a good way.

I dont think I could handle being around such HATEFUL people! What is wrong with you people?????

If dont want to see her feeding her baby at mass then dont look! You think God would want her to leave because her baby is hungary? Just because you have a problem with it then its the "work of the devil"? That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. This reaffirms my thoughts on people like yall.

Kate thanks for such an interesting and potentially helpful thread for all of us. I found it especially interesting that most of the “against” crowd, especially the ones who labeled you “selfish” failed to mention, or even notice, your “NFP (anything but selfish), form of “birth control.”

Most seem to agree that “discretion” is the key. I only want to clarify to say that the ONLY reason that “discretion” is even needed is NOT because “breast bad” but because WE, as a culture, are so very broken (as you pointed out in Christopher West’s article).

That said, in defense of all who think it is so wrong, I admit myself, that 5 years ago, I probably would have taken the same position. I’m middle age, Catholic school educated, and I suspect most of us were raised/taught with “false modesty/prudery” standards.

A few years ago, I became very interested in JP II’s teaching of the Theology of the Body. So much so, I went to PA and enrolled in “immersion training” under Christopher West. Being one of the first classes, the laymen and religious were all combined. My class was almost half priests and nuns, which IMO, was a true blessing. I mention it to make the point that very few of us, without a lot of help from JPII’s teaching, INCLUDING priests and nuns, don’t really understand the Theology of the Body. For the entire class from all over North America, It was like scales falling off our eyes; the kind of “enlightenment” that makes one want to shout from the mountain tops.

I totally believe that everyone who is “against” that posted here totally believes their view is most pleasing to God. In charity I tell you that by our original sin and culture, we are “blinded beyond our comprehension”, especially when it comes to our bodies, and most certainly in our American Culture. In Mere Christianity, CS Lewis (one of the few who “got it early”), uses an example of an “an audience crowd “going wild” at the sight of a pork chop being uncovered on stage (if memory serves me, it was some piece of meat on a covered dish). He used that as an example to make the point that just as we, in our lustful culture, get “turned on” at the sight of “exposed body parts”, in REALITY, it is as silly and stupid looking as if this whole thread was about the “discretion we should all take while viewing pork chops, and where, if any, an acceptable place would be.”

Point being, if we understood our bodies in purity, we would find this whole thread as laughable as if we were discussing a piece of food. I suspect God brought us all together to teach us a thing or two. We all have a lot to learn, and for any interested, JPII TOB has a lot to teach us. Even more so, the Song of Songs might well become you favorite book of the Bible. Much more will make sense, for all interested in “diving into the deep.” God Bless all of you.

Klaire

Hi.

As a mom of 8, who completely endorses long term nursing and attachment parenting, I have to say that the people who have replied who are suggesting that you pump, use a bottle, modern technology etc.. That is very much NOT the answer. That is technology from humans for mom's to provide their babies with needed nutrients while attending to their "own" lives. So, yes, it is better than no breastmilk esp. for working moms etc.., but it is NOT natural and for for those given the gift of true vocation to motherhood and those babies blessed with those moms.. a bottle, pacifier, pumping are NOT alternatives. Not to mention a child with crackers and a baby with a bottle is much more disturbing and distracting than discrete nursing.

At times, I have discretely nursed during Mass. Although more proficient at discrete nursing (10.5 years w/out a break), I am still faced with the question. Either I stay in the pews and hope I am not bothering anyone or I excuse myself if baby needs to nurse.. both of which are distracting either for me or someone around me. Sometimes I will just stay out esp. if I know baby will need to nurse or for babies between crawling age and mature enough to be quiet and still during church (2-3) I don't bother putting myself through the stress of "am I bothering someone". I've learned to focus on the readings and homily and Mass despite being in the back with distractions greater than a silently nursing baby. Even then I always feel like I am doing something wrong. It is quite a mental challenge to do the most natural thing in a world that has become so very unnatural!

Using Mary as and example and what she probably did with Jesus.. yes, she probably nursed him on demand as natural as God meant for baby to be fed, but I am pretty sure that the Jewish custom is to separate the men from the women and children. They worshipped separately. If Jesus needed his Mother or to be fed during a time of worship, it would have been all to common and no eyebrows would have been raised. Something might be said for that..

but then Christ, as an adult, forbids the disciples to reject the children. Instead He invites the children to come to Him with open arms. Not to go much deeper into a theology I have not completely studied or understand (maybe someone else could do this thesis), but it is something to ponder. "Worshipping God Alone versus Worshipping the Triune God".

I think all in all, it depends on the tolerance level of the particular parish you are in. If people in your congregations are focused enough.. discrete nursing shouldn't be a problem.. in congregations where appearance, concentration on others and social issues are more important than being with Christ... well then perhaps not adding to the distractions is a good thing.. if only to help others out... albeit a sacrifice on your part.

Peace to Kate, who through it all is doing a great thing for baby and for society by even having the nerve to bring this debate up!! Prayers that in the future, our "unnatural society" comes around to realize that God's "natural" plan for us is so much better than the ones we have come up with for ourselves.

-Amy

Hi,

I totally agree with you! My first baby (at 40) was a challenge since everything was so new and I was concerned that I wouldn't produce enough milk. So I made the mistake of also supplying formula. I did breastfeed for about 7 months but it was really hard.

My second child (at 41) was so different. I never supplemented and I had a ton of milk. When she needed to nurse, I nursed!!!

And I should add that I work full-time too! I used a double medelia pump every 2 hours when I was away and I was able to nurse for almost 2 1/2 years! It was the best time!

God bless you! I'm 100% behind you and WITH you!!!

Donna

The problem with society is that they see breasts as a sex symbol and not as something that is used to feed a young child. Modesty is not wearing shirts that show your navel, clothes that show off what kind of undergarments you are wearing and not using your breasts as a form of entrapment. In the Victorian era ankles and wrists where too provocative to mention yet women still breast-fed! Breast-feeding in public is not being immodest as long as your are being done discreetly. I have seen more magazine covers that use breasts as sex symbols than I have seen nursing mothers who are decrepitly feeding their little ones with blankets over their shoulder. I am yet to be a breast-feeding mother but I will be when the time comes to having a child. My future husband both respects my desire to become a breast-feeding mother and has requested that I do so. My future husband truly understands what my breasts were made for and few men these days do. How unfortunate that catholic men and even women could ever see a women's body as sticky a object for sexual desire and that breast-feeding in mass as a violation of modesty.

I think babies should be breast-fed before or after Mass with the children and their goldfish, animal crackers and coloring books and toys. For those who do not have children it is a disgrace during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. How can a woman possibly focus on the Mass when she is feeding and entertaining her children. Of course woman should feed their children but NOT during MASS!!!!
If breastfeeding takes 1 or so hours out of 24 then they should schedule their feedings before or after. Something is very wrong with the mother if she cannot do this.

The problem with society is that they see breasts as a sex symbol and not as something that is used to feed a young child. Modesty is not wearing shirts that show your navel, clothes that show off what kind of undergarments you are wearing and not using your breasts as a form of entrapment. In the Victorian era ankles and wrists where too provocative to mention yet women still breast-fed! Breast-feeding in public is not being immodest as long as your are being done discreetly. I have seen more magazine covers that use breasts as sex symbols than I have seen nursing mothers who are decrepitly feeding their little ones with blankets over their shoulder. I am yet to be a breast-feeding mother but I will be when the time comes to having a child. My future husband both respects my desire to become a breast-feeding mother and has requested that I do so. My future husband truly understands what my breasts were made for and few men these days do. How unfortunate that catholic men and even women could ever see a women's body as sticky a object for sexual desire and that breast-feeding in mass as a violation of modesty.

One more aspect that has not come up is the fact that all through the bible nursing at the breast is used as a metaphor for the nurturing nature of the Church. If breast feeding is such an abhorrent act then why did the Holy Spirit inspire the use of this analogy in sacred scripture? I agree that some discretion is called for but I would think that would be a given (as the article clearly stated). Better to see a breast discreetly used for its primary purpose than be exposed to inappropriate attire by both genders and all ages at Holy Mass. The phobia that is seen in some of these posts is not only uncharitable but also quite illogical. As one poster stated: a properly covered nursing infant is no more of a temptation than simply knowing that all of the women in the church have breasts under their clothing! It seems that the opposition posters do indeed need to rethink their attitudes as well as their reasoning.

Connie, I am very offended by the tone of your post. I am a 31 year old Catholic woman, raised post-Vatican II, and I, as well as many of my peers, know the term "occasion of sin". You have every right to your opinion, but please no age-ism, ok? Catholic means universal, so let's all try to get along, ok?

In case it isn't fully clear, the photo at the top of your article is what's leading people to believe you're far less than discreet during Mass. I nursed my children anywhere they needed to, and I support that, but I didn't publish pictures for all the world to see of my breast fully exposed either.

I don't whether to laugh or cry reading some of these comments. Good grief. Brave Kate will have to think long and hard before sharing her mom experiences and unleashing the wrath of the righteous! I agree, BTW, that the photo did little to help Kate's story along. But, let me tackle the "I don't want to hear slurping or glimpse a breast" thread - because I can really relate to struggles with Mass distractions. At our noon Mass, we bus in elderly people from an assisted care facility. They can be a really noisy, distracting group. One guy seems to have emphysema and comes with his own oxygen tank and spitting cup which he hocks in to clear his breathing. I don't like the noise and I don't like seeing him spit, to be honest. Try as I do to disregard the distration, I can't. So, I tend to avoid that Mass, or to not to sit too close to the elder group - who I feel are just where they should be ... and I am proud of our church for facilitating their attendance. I guess we all have to balance our charity and sensibilities ... so I think why not move away from the Mom who needs to breastfeed, the homeless person wearing safety goggles and tin foil, the person with Torette's who shouts out, the occasional alcoholic with hiccups, the grandmom who put on her whole bottle of perfume? ~there is so much messy about being the Body of Christ, all of us, and sometimes we are certainly challenged to accomodate. Also, for those who love, love, love being with Christ alone and no distraction ... I hope you are going to Adoration somewhere, sometime. That's my undistracted, cherished time alone with the Lord - and I even put in earplugs to block out every noise I can!

For the record: I had no say in what photo was used with this article.

Only uneducated and disrespectful ones would do that.
Sooo inappropriate to do that in public, specially Church!! Would you have sex in public, it's natural and a gift from God? I surly don't want to see it or hear it even if done discretely.

For all those who find breastfeeding in church disrespectful, how would you feel about having one of these classic paintings or sculptures in your church?

http://www.fisheaters.com/marialactans.html

Does anyone think Mary sent Joseph down to the local Quikee Mart to pick up a can of formula and a couple extra plastic bottles? How do you think HE ate?

Would all you people upset about this be offended if a mother fed a baby a bottle during mass? I think not. It's not the baby eating that's bothering you, it's your own hyper-sexualized view of the human breast. The sole purpose of a breast is to feed babies. That's why God created it, and that is how He intended it to be used.

Besides, every nursing mother I've met has been discreet enough that absolutely NO skin is ever shown when feeding in public. I nursed my baby in mass one day, and when mass was over my own husband, sitting right beside me in the pew, asked if I needed to feed that baby before we went home, because he never saw me nursing her.

Banishing mothers and children from mass is no good for anyone. It does not let us participate in the mass, and is more distracting to others when we are getting up and down out of the pew to leave for feedings than if we just sat quietly nursing. Baby is obviously going to be quieter nursing than waiting for a bottle. And why are you all so distracted by watching someone feed her child? Shouldn't you be focused on the altar and what is happening there instead of looking around at everyone else?

Catholics are supposed to see children as blessings from God, and accept them readily--it is part of the marriage vows. It is discouraging to see so many here with such hateful attitudes towards mothers taking care of their children's needs, while also trying to obey God and attend mass. It's a symptom of our warped society as a whole, which has no respect for the family, is self-centered enough to want what "I" want, not what is best for others, and is focused on nothing but sex. Breastfeeding is about the child, not about sex or anything else. What's next, banning children from mass altogether? Then who? Didn't Jesus say to "let the little children come to me", not "get out of My house--go to the cry room!"

Wow! To see that breast feeding and public sex are seen as equivalent is pretty radical! Just like the posts that compared it to 'other bodily functions' this comparison is WAY off base.

Remember people, eating is something we all must do to survive. Babies' needs are just more specific and urgent. A newborn doesn't know, nor care, what time it is or where they are. They just need to eat RIGHT NOW! Anyone who has ever had a child must surely realize the truth of this statement. Sometimes you just have to accommodate them when and where they demand it.

GET A GRIP. We are a Church Family. We are the Body of Christ. We should love, not chastise moms who dive whole-heartedly into nurturing their babes in arms. Again, we are talking about discreet, covered breasts. We are talking about the most natural thing in the world. This means of feeding a baby is even LESS obvious than bottle feeding.

The ability to breastfeed a child is, I believe, one of God's greatest blessings to us women. It not only nourishes the child, but nourishes the mother as well through the bonding that takes place. I nursed my three girls in spite of Dr. Spock's warnings not to. Was I discreet? Yes, of course I was, as are most mothers. Did I get "looks" in the 70s...you betcha I did! I had a friend tell me it was simply "bovine" of me to nurse in this modern age when viable formulas had come of age. Whether a mother breast feeds or not, she will have a healthy child. There are mothers all around me at Mass "bottle feeding" their babies because it was either a choice they made to bottle feed, or because they couldn't nurse for various reasons. Either way, a mother's "job" is to feed her infant.Breast or bottle, babies WILL be fed when they are hungry and WHERE they are hungry.The rest of us need to be mindful that it isn't always easy getting a young family to Mass, but blessings on those who make the effort in spite of feeding schedules!

Wow, just wow, on some of these comments. Someone actually likened breastfeeding to "other bodily functions!" Feeding a baby the milk God created for the mother to feed a baby is the same as peeing in the pew? Hmmm. Breastmilk is the perfect food for babies. It's how God made us. Breastfed infants get hungry sooner than formula fed babies. Pumping is a pain, and expensive and totally unnecessary for a breastfeeding mother. The Catholic Church is totally prolife. I'm trying to figure out how some of you, purporting to be Catholic, can really substaniate your claims that it is WRONG to breastfeed at Mass. A happy baby is a parent who can pay attention to Mass and attend to other children. A screaming baby is a distraction. A nursing baby? How would you even know, unless YOU WEREN'T paying attention to the Mass. Exiting the pew with screaming baby, distraction. Nursing discreetly in the pew, how would you know?? Children are a blessing. They belong at Church and deserve the Graces obtained there just as much as any of you!!!

Give a nursing mother a break, turn around, mind your own business and get over your embarrassment. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me" he didn't qualify that with "except those nursing babies--yucky"


Great article, btw.

Jennifer--mother of 6 breastfed children

After reading some of these comments, I had to ask myself, "Am I on a Catholic website?" I can think of few things more beautiful than a woman breastfeeding her baby, and it's got nothin' to do with sex or temptation. A Catholic church should be one of the safest and freest places for this sort of thing.

My first thought after reading these comments was that I'd much rather see a baby eating the way he ought, but in Mass, than members of my own Church munching irreverently at the Body of our Lord as they walk back to their pews.

However, the real question here is about the appropriateness of visual imagery in certain situations and various representations.

According to JPII in the Theology of the Body, some images of nudity, such as those in the Sistine Chapel, allow "one to concentrate in some way on the whole truth of man, on the dignity and beauty - even ‘suprasensual’ beauty - of his masculinity and femininity"

To see nudity is not per se wrong. But to see nudity that incites concupiscence of thought or deed is wrong. If I am incited to concupiscence because of a glimpse of an areola, the problem is with me, not the breastfeeding.

Dr. Michael Waldstein, who translated, and introduced the authoritative version of 'The Theology of the Body', put it this way: "Some images [of the naked body] push us to concupiscence, others do not...Going to the Sistine Chapel and looking at the naked women on the ceiling is for this reason a very different experience than watching a pornographic movie. It is not presumption, but the experience of many men, that one can look with purity at Michelangelo’s nudes and take delight in their beauty... Of course, if one does feel a slide into concupiscence when looking at Michelangelo’s nudes, it is a good idea to look away. That need to look away should also be a trumpet blast for recognizing...that one is in need of a serious transformation."

Please reread the last sentence of that quote- then go out and buy The Theology of the Body to help you overcome your Theology of the Bawdy.

Rather than voicing visceral reactions to a babe suckling at breast (and most likely under a blanket), perhaps we could be recognizing that scenario as a living icon of the many beautiful realities of God's great plan for humanity. Thus, the nursing mother is elevated to the level of sacred art.

Now that's revolutionary.

Wow, I too am shocked and amazed by the judgement that is being passed down in these comments. This is a fantastic piece and I applaud you. I am sorry that there are so many who stand in judgement and i am sad to think of what Jesus thinks as he watches this judgement unfold. You know what your body is intended for and as a fellow breastfeeding mom, it is your right but you don't even need my justification because this is what God made breasts for. I know it has been said many times before by the sensible ones but this is a natural act bestowed upon a woman by.....GOD...who made our breasts for lactating and for feeding our babies. Who gives you fellow sinners and humans the right to tell a mother where she can and cannot feed her child when it is the basis of nourishment? This selective approval you seem to think you have the authority to give on this subject is pathetic and I think you need to ask yourselves what right you have to say when a baby should or needs to eat and how a mother does it? To those of you who stoop to the ignorant level and compare feeding and nourishing a child to "other bodily functions", there is little to say to you other than that is the most unoriginal statement people who can't think for themselves toss out about breastfeeding. Breasts made by your Lord God were made to produce milk. say it with me, breasts were made to produce milk. If you don't want to look, turn away. If you don't agree, close your eyes really tight and think about how you can improve your life by not judging others.

I'd just like to say that this was a great and inspiring article and I'm sorry all these hurtful comments are being made.

I am a mother of two - one being in-utero - and I've always nursed at Mass. My son needed to nurse and screaming was not an option. I sat towards the front because I can't see in back. I always did it discreetly and have only had warm encouragement from others around me. There are lots of things that can be distractions during the Mass, but if they are, it does not automatically make them bad. Children in general - esp. babies tend to be a MAJOR distraction - all the people around have always smiled at our son and interacted with him (sometimes much to my chagrin b/c I didn't want to distract them), but he's not bad. I believe breastfeeding is a beautiful gift from God that He gave women, so why wouldn't He want us to feel comfortable in HIS home? It's not like we're coming out in our pajamas and dirty and stinky. We're doing something that provides nourishment to our babies, who don't understand the word "wait" and can't provide it themselves. And to the comment that those children are the ones who are undisciplined is totally false! I know a woman who has 7 children and has breastfed them during Mass and her children are the best behaved children I know!

Anyway, nursing is a beautiful and natural gift. It just shows how exact and wonderful God has made the human body.

Breastfeeding is a natural gift from God given to mothers...of course those who breasfeed use dicretion...they are good mothers...those who think it disturn then, need to revise their hearts...coz a baby is hungry anytime...may be those people never breastfed and don't understand...Christ is love and is understaning of an innocent babe's need...the sickos need to leave mass if it disturbs them, the selfish and the hypocrites too...coz how is it ok for the women to dress improperly and their teen daughters too, for other men, husbands and sons to see and it is not ok to feed a babe...go change your hearts and clean your impure minds...

>>For the record: I had no say in what photo was used with this article. <<

You should protest, Kate, because most people will assume that's a picture of you.

Breasfeeding is the most beautiful act a mother can do and that can be seen...Christ understands and approves of it...for His own mother breastfed Him...

People having a problem with it at mass are hyporcrites who believe in bottlefeeding...why don't you just focus on the Lord...a maternal act doesn't horrify God, why does it horrify you?!!!

You don't protest against your wife,daughters wearing improper attires at church to temp our husbands, sons and brothers??? do you????I bet those women protesting against breastfeeding at mass, dress immodestly at masss...why be hyporcites???

I think babies should be breast-fed before or after Mass with the children and their goldfish, animal crackers and coloring books and toys. For those who do not have children it is a disgrace during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. How can a woman possibly focus on the Mass when she is feeding and entertaining her children. Of course woman should feed their children but NOT during MASS!!!!
If breastfeeding takes 1 or so hours out of 24 then they should schedule their feedings before or after. Something is very wrong with the mother if she cannot do this.
Written by mary

MARY WE THANK GOD CHRIST IS NOT AS A COLD HEARTED PERSON AS YOU...IT DOES NOT BOTHER HIM TO HAVE TRUE MOMS BREASFEEDING THEIR INNOCENT BABE AT MASS..IT'S IS A BEAUTFUL MOTHERLY ACT....YOU NEED TO REVISE YOUR HEART...A BABE GETS HUNGRY ANYTIME...YOU CANNOT CONTROL IT...YOU MUST NEVER HAVE BREADTFED IN YOUR LIFE...DO NOT SPEAK OUT OF IGNORANCE AND LACK OF CHARITY ...KEEP YOUR EYES FOCUS ON MASS...AND YOUR HEART ON CHRIST...YOU DON'T GO TO MASS TO WATCH PEOPLE'S BUSINESS...HYPOCRISY AND USING THAT NOT TO FOCUS ON OUR LORD WILL NOT HELP YOU GET HOLY IN LIFE..PRAY AND CHANGE YOUR HEART...CHRIST IS LOVE

I am absolutely disgusted by the comments related to this article. I can't even get through all of them. I cannot understand why this is such a hot-button issue.

I think a fundamental misunderstanding that the anti-breastfeeding in church crowd has is that a mother is eager to breastfeed in Mass. That she wants to nurse during Mass to prove something or to stand out? Or that she's some sort of exhibitionist who can't wait to show her stuff. Give me a break.

A baby has needs, one need is to eat. A baby cannot understand that hunger has to wait until after Mass. I know that as a mother I did my very best to avoid feeding my babies during Mass. I would nurse beforehand to try and hold off any hunger pains, but sometimes it just didn't work. Maybe my baby was asleep before Mass and I couldn't wake her. Maybe she refused to eat. I did the best I could do, but if it didn't work, and my baby got hungry during Mass, I fed her.

I cannot believe all the people who advocate splitting families up to attend Mass or tell the mothers to leave Mass to feed. My daughters took 20-25 minutes to nurse. I would have missed almost the entire Mass. And as a new mother, I desperately needed the grace from the Holy Mass. How dare you tell me that I am not allowed to stay in church if I have to feed my baby.

I did ask permission from my priest and he said without pause that I absolutely could nurse during Mass if needed. I was just doing the best I could do, and what I needed as a new mother was encouragement and support, not judgment and banishment. Aren't we all just doing the best we can? Stop focusing on the things that don't matter, like whether or not the mother 3 pews in front of you is breastfeeding. (Although my guess is that most of the commenters here have never even seen a mother breastfeed during Mass) Seriously, it is NOT A BIG DEAL. Focus on your own prayer life. And pray very deeply about the reason why you would send a mother and her baby out of the church to do something which is natural and loving. It's not about you, it's about a mother caring for her baby.

Our Lady of La Leche, pray for us.

Maybe someone should start a "mommy and me" Mass movement.

Please, please put this into practice!

I could not agree more with the poster who was distracted by the Cheerio-apples-crinkling-bags at Mass. During an otherwise lovely Mass, a child once screamed "bells, bells" at the consecration of both the host and the wine! Talk about distractions!

Discreet breastfeeding in public has never bothered me (assuming a receiving blanket is in place to assure modesty), but the Mass isn't the place for even more child-related distractions.

Also, as a married woman, even I find it tough not to look at an exposed breast. Hormonally challenged teens would be spellbound -- and not in a good way.
Written by M. H.


M.H MAY BE YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR HORMONALLY CHALLENGED TO FOCUS ON MASS...AND ALSO YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTERS TO DRESS PROPERLY AT MASS..IF YOUR SONS ARE SO SICK TO BE DISTURBED BY A NATURAL MOTHER BREASFEEDING HER INNOCENT BABE...THEN THEY HAVE SOME SERIOUS PROBLEM...THEI ROBLEM IS THEIR MINDS ARE SO SICK THAT THEY CANNOT FOCUS ON CHRIST AT MASS..BUT THEY WOULD ON AN IMMOCENT WOMAN BREASFEEDING HER BABE...THAT'S THE TRUE PICTURE OF YOUR SAD AND PITIFUL STORY..PLEASE NOTE I WROTE THIS IN CAPS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY COMMENTS AND THAT THAT CONFUSED WOMAN...I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR SONS..

Am I right or are Catholics the only Christians who would actually be having this debate? I can't imagine Presbyterians having it, because I can't imagine any Presbyterians breast-feeding during their services, or Baptists, or Methodists. Maybe some Episcopalians. I'm not trying to add to the controversy, but only point out that there must be a reason why it's a debate among Catholics and not any other Christian group I can think of.

1 At that hour the disciples came to Jesus, saying: Who thinkest thou is the greater in the kingdom of heaven? 2 And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them, 3 And said: Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greater in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And he that shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me.

6 But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea. 7 Woe to the world because of scandals. For it must needs be that scandals come: but nevertheless woe to that man by whom the scandal cometh. 8 And if thy hand, or thy foot scandalize thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee. It is better for thee to go into life maimed or lame, than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into everlasting fire. 9 And if thy eye scandalize thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee. It is better for thee having one eye to enter into life, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. 10 See that you despise not one of these little ones: for I say to you, that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

Seems pretty clear to me what Jesus thought of little ones. I cannot imagine him abolishing a nursing mother from his presence for any reason. I doubt reacting with disgust and anger to newborns, children, and their families was what Jesus meant when he said verse 5 up there - even if the child was crumpling a ziploc of cheerios at the time. A little more compassion (the etymology of that word being Latin - com/patio - to suffer with - obviously the same root as the word PASSION, as my priest would point out in this situation) and a little less self-righteousness could certainly be demonstrated by some people commenting here.

We parents do our best to keep our own little ones from distracting you while still allowing them to experience the Mass. At our children's baptisms, we made a vow to God to raise them in the arms of the church, and hey everyone complaining about the presence of these little ones under whatever circumstances - guess what? If you were ever present at a baptism, you made that vow, too - you promised God you would support these children in their faith and welcome them into the church. To speak bitterly of them is an affront to the vows in which you yourselves participated.

Deal,

You are so right! I was a Protestant when my three daughters were little and I was breastfeeding. I never, ever, considered breastfeeding in my Methodist church. Perhaps it was because "most" Protestants dress up much more than Catholics when they attend church, I along with them. It would have been very difficult to negotiate the nursing position in a "Sunday dress." All kidding aside, we Catholics are blessed to feel at home in a church that encourages us to fully express our love and care for those whom we have been so richly blessed...our children, knowing that they are a 24-7 blessing, feedings and all.

just wondering, did women breastfeed during Mass BEFORE Vatican II?

I LOVED YOUR COMMENT MR. HUDSON! Interesting indeed!

Because Protestants tend to send their babies/toddlers to the nursery and their children to Children's Church. They are separated for services and if you nurse you go down to them. That's why. As Catholics we tend to stay together for Mass and worship as a family.

During an otherwise lovely Mass, a child once screamed "bells, bells" at the consecration of both the host and the wine! Talk about distractions!
*****************
I suppose you could look at this in one of two ways: a distraction or the beautiful simplicity of a child recognizing that something special is happening. Now that I'm a parent, I would view it as the latter.

I am surprised by your quandry. Of course the Catholic ethos fosters reflection over this question. Catholics love and find meaning in the sexual and bodily dimensions of life: Mary & her virginity; Mary nursing the Christ Child; Christ's celibacy; marriage and receptivity to children ... our traditions and culture and canon law ascribe divine meaning to the functioning and proper use of our bodies. Mary's significance, alone, not to mention to multitude of Catholic women saints and acitivists distinguish us from other Christian traditions and sects. Many, many women of my generation have returned to the Church because it is so profoundly "women-friendly" and welcomes us and our bodies ... through its imagery and practices and, especially, JP II's Theology of the Body that fully dignifies the female form and function. The only other religious group I could predict debating this sort of question would be Jews. Hmmmm, consider this piece at http://att.iparenting.com/breastfeed/religiouswoman.htm,"Bible and the Breast: How Breastfeeding Impacts the Religious Woman" by Jennifer M. Paquette.

When I was growing up, my family went to a parish with a large number of large, fairly well-behaved families and no cry-room. Nursing in the pews was very common-place, but always very discreet. Boobs were not exposed--babies were held in slings or covered with baby blankets. As someone else said above--much better than a crying baby! Nursing babies are often very happy or fall asleep afterwards. All those who are opposed to nursing in church do not know what they are talking about!

Christopher West forgets that female toplessness is not allowed in public in America. So people have not been so desensitised to it here. And we're not all looking at porn as his statement suggests.

In a country like Brazil, there is a greater lack of modesty. Nudity is allowed on it's beaches. Sadly, a mother can walk bare breasted in front of clergymen and no one "feels" scandalized, but they should.

I take offense at his misuse of scripture. If I see public nursing as immodest, then, I'm unclean? Titus 1:15, referred to Jewish Christians, who insisted on the observance of Jewish ritual purity regulations.

Nursing a baby is an intimate, personal act. Therefore, it needs to be done out of public view.

since Vatican 2,the Holy Sacrifice ofthe Mass has been reduced to a eucharistic meal.
This one now reduces it to a group meeting of the LaLecheLeague.

Mom,it seems to be more about YOU,than the necessity of breast feeding your infant.
How come you can't nurse your baby before you step out the door to attend Mass ?
Thousands have done so before you ever even had a child.
It's inappropriate.
and to those posting about God's way,etc,it's natural--so are quite a few other things 100% natural and if performed in public,never mind in a church,they'd be arrested.
How do you feel about intimacy under a blanket on a beach ?......or in the aisle across from you on a flight ?
why not ? it's a natural thing as well.

and anyone even thinking that the VirginMary nursed Jesus at the temple,please.
a nursing mother was considered "unclean" under the Law of Moses,so there's absolutely no way they'd be near a temple.

Christianity is unique because our God is Love. He is Love itself. Jesus Christ shows us the Father, who loves us and embraces us with a love we cannot comprehend. Many comments here have been jarring because they lack love and understanding - turning faith into an ideology instead of a personal encounter with Christ - God's Love.

Sunday worship is a communal act - we are the people of God worshiping together the God of Love, who feeds us with his own flesh and blood, and is looking upon us at the very moment of the consecration of the Eucharist. This is no privatized exclusive experience - we are together. Can we not see God smiling at all of us - esp. those who burdened with sins find it difficult to believe God loves them so much.

I don't believe God minds little children who eat cheerios at Mass - when they are too little to know better! Jesus warns us to take care to have patience with them: "See that you despise not one of these little ones: for I say to you, that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven." (Matt 18:10) Do you think God gets irritated when they cry, or laugh, and not pay attention? I truly doubt it, how petty that would be! God loves them and made them all! He understands, but we need to have that same understanding. He reminds us "my ways are not your ways." His love and forgiveness surpasses what we would show.

A child is Love's own gift! God is Love (1Jn4:16) and knows what demands little children have. He made them, and he made mothers to nurture them and their needs. Why would the God of Love, who gave the blessing of a baby, demand a mother leave his Table for nourishing her child at her breast. A sign of tender maternal care that should soften hearts coarsened against life and love in this world? This is a work of mercy: to feed the hungry! And in that babe is Christ to be found, who has his needs, his wants, and in every baby is helpless too, begging for love. To feed the hungry, this is an act of love - and before the God of Love in the act of worship! What a good thing!

God calls the mother and child to his table - why would he want her to remove herself from the grace-filled moments of worship before him, when she needs to feed on Him, just as her baby needs to feed on her. The Divine Liturgy is there for her as well as baby, who even unknowingly participates in some mysterious way in the channels of grace. For these reasons I believe a mother breastfeeding her child does a work of mercy pleasing to our God, Jesus Christ, who is Love itself and is happy to behold acts of love, esp. to the needy and helpless.

This incorporates the most fundamental mystery of Christianity: God's passionate love for his Church and man. We should see through his eyes.

As other posters have intimated, I believe we have lost a sense of the holiness and sacredness of the body. Our eyes are blind, because our culture is so impure. But the answer is to see as God sees, to love as God loves, and nothing else. Let us encourage each other to reacquaint our senses with this beautiful vision of the human body as God intended.

The sight of a woman breast-feeding her child, should make us pause and think of what a sacred gift life is. We ought to think too how much like a little child we are, with needs and wants that put us in total dependence on a God who loves us so much like a mother and nourishes us with his providence and own Body and Blood. This is a holy mystery, a moment of grace.

“Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 18:4) God bless!

I think breastfeeding is normal and healthy, and it's hard enough to go to Mass with small children. They don't like sitting still, and babies get restless and cranky. It's very trying to raise children and taking them to Mass is often a chore. So I think other parishioners should give the moms a break.

People who are so easily distracted might try training themselves to keep their eyes on the cross and ignore those around them. Yes, it's difficult, people are very distracting, but you can close your eyes. I'm a people watcher so yes, I get distracted in Mass sometimes, catching myself observing other people instead of communing with God. That's a very normal thing for many people.

So, try to keep your eyes to yourself, and if your attention wanders, don't blame the other person and say that they are sinning just because you can't turn them out. Breastfeeding is just one of many distractions.

I'm fairly neutral on this topic. I'll complain if there is a ban on feeding infants in Church, but I'm also sympathetic to complaints that some mothers are less than considerate of those around them.

It seems to me that the problem here is that we've been desensitized to the most scandalous image of all: the mutilated Savior asphyxiated on a crucifix. I can only imagine the kind of comments early Churchgoers would have made when those things started going up. Obviously, I'm not advocating iconoclasm here. I'm just offering a meditation for those commentators who feel troubled by the sight of a nursing mother.

If the sight of crucifixion can become so commonplace that a nursing mother can distract you, then perhaps the sight of nursing mothers can become so commonplace that you will start becoming distracted by the bloodied image hanging from the ceiling.

Marjorie, to tell the truth I was just trying to get somebody to say what you said in response to my "quandry." But I wanted a lady to say it, thanks.

Deal Hudson thanks for the clarity; was a little concerned to be honest. Marjorie thanks for the great response!

I continue to be astounded as to how “telling this thread is.” It may well be one of the most important threads ever on this site, proving the urgent need for the teaching of John Paul’s Theology of the Body. I only hope some Bishops are reading!

The evidence is overwhelming that many (and as I posted earlier, I suspect “unknowingly”), are “naked with shame.” I wish John Paul II could weigh in on this discussion. He would help us all understand why not only is breastfeeding at mass beautiful and most acceptable, but also that, if our minds were properly formed to God’s plan, even Jesus on the cross doesn’t need a loin cloth!

For the nay sayers, John Paul would label it “negative purity” and invite us to turn our “lustful” eyes to the GREAT MYSTERY of God’s love, God’s plan, which, in our purity of heart, are able to SEE GOD VIA THE BODY.

Klaire

The "pure in heart" are promised that they will see God face to face and be like him.312 Purity of heart is the precondition of the vision of God. Even now it enables us to see according to God, to accept others as "neighbors"; it lets us perceive the human body—ours and our neighbor's—as a temple of the Holy Spirit, a manifestation of divine beauty. CCC 2519

Sometimes, most times, nursing a baby is just that--providing Milk for the baby. It's not intimate, it's just a feeding. It is NOT sexual, it is NOT sex--YOU are the one with a problem.

And I think you are mistaken about Mary being unclean because she was nursing. Unclean had to do with blood/childbearing, not milk. You might want to research that and get back to us.....

Actually, I was raised Lutheran and am now a Methodist. I nursed both of my children in the pews of my current church, and could be seen on Christmas Eve in the Lutheran church I was raised in nursing (under a cover) and swaying my infant in the back of the sanctuary, so as not to miss my favorite service of the year. I never was chastized - I was applauded for having my children with me, and for doing what I needed to do to get the spiritual support and rejuvination church gives new mothers strugging to meet the demands of work and family.

I think that the Catholic faith's focus on sin and avoidance of sin (i.e., someones reaction to a fleeting glimpse of 1/2 inch of bared breast before the infant latches on) is the catalyst for these debates. They're societal, and everyone has an opinion on them. But when the societal debates are compounded with concerns over faith, they become even "hotter" topics.

I breastfed my kids in public (and even once at mass) and did it very discreetly, using a receiving blanket over the shoulder. I stopped having a problem with it when a prude of a woman came up to me at the mall, ASKED me if I was nursing, (because, as I said, it was not obvious) and then told me I should "go do that in the restroom and have some decency."

I told her she should go eat HER lunch in the restroom and see how she liked it.

I think worrying about whether "hormone-driven teenagers and perverts and MEN" get turned on during mass because an infant in being discreetly suckled says a great deal more about people than it does about a nursing mother. To be honest...if you're really FOCUSING on the mass, you shouldn't even notice.

Kind of reminds me of a man who once went into a loud, sneering critique in our church lobby about "people who need to use the missalette to recite the creed."

If they're looking at the prayer in a book, and you're busy looking at them and judging, whose making the more focused prayer?

This argument can be, ironically, compared to the debate over carrying a concealed weapon in public. If those who do it -- who have the right and need -- would do it in a manner that would not cause scandal or disturbance to others, then it is not an issue.

The problem is when the instance of nursing looks like the above photo. In public, even a child can tell you it is disruptive. When there is an alternative (discreet, concealed) then those who argue for unconcealed and open displays are simply asking for a fight.

This is one of those discussions where you just want not only to disagree, but <i>to be against</i> every position and everyone. Well done, InsideCatholic.

Vatican pushes for more breastfeeding images of the Virgin Mary.

An influential Vatican newspaper recently published an article calling for a return to images of the Virgin Mary breastfeeding the baby Jesus.

The Catholic News Service reports:


The loving, tender images of Mary breast-feeding the baby Jesus need an artistic and spiritual rehabilitation, said the Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano.

A vast iconography of traditional Christian art has been "censored by the modern age" because images depicting Our Lady's naked breast for her child were deemed too "unseemly," the paper said June 19.

Artists began depicting a fully clothed nursing Mary in sacred art in an attempt to make her seem less "carnal," but the depictions unfortunately also diminished her human, loving and tender side "that touches the hearts and faith of the devout," the newspaper said.

The Vatican paper published the two commentaries in its June 19 edition along with a Renaissance portrait of Mary baring her breast, nursing a swaddled baby Jesus.

Salesian Father Enrico dal Covolo, a professor of classic and Christian literature at the Pontifical Salesian University, said in his commentary that a nursing Mary represents an interesting paradox: "He who gives nourishment to all things, Mary included, now lets himself be nourished by her.

This kind of Marian iconography can be traced back to Egypt and early Christian times, but it ends around the 16th or 17th century, both authors said.

Scaraffia wrote that the Protestant movement was quite critical of "the carnality and unbecoming nature of many sacred images." Even though Catholicism rejected this view, the condemnations still affected the church's approach to sacred art, as evidenced by artists later covering up the naked forms in the Sistine Chapel, she wrote.

The splintered views concerning the sanctity of the human body were not repaired and therefore an "artistic and spiritual rehabilitation" of a breast-feeding baby Jesus is needed, she wrote.

She said the sacred image of Mary nursing her child is "an image so concrete and loving" that it recalls her offering her body for nourishment and giving herself completely to her son as he offers his body and blood in the Eucharist and gave himself completely for others with his death and resurrection.

I think that picture at the top of this post is part of the problem. The editors should consider swapping that one out. That is a woman, in what looks like her bedroom or a hospital bed, nursing in what is most likely a private situation.

Since we are talking about we don't want to see at Mass, what I really don't want to see are women and young girls showing their cleavage, wearing short short short shorts, wearing tight shirts, bra straps showing, practically wearing their bathing suits. I don't want to see men and young men wearing raggy old t-shirts and jeans and sneakers unless they've come from work and that is the only way they can make it to Mass. Take a look around at Mass one day. See how the older people are dressed, and then take a look at the younger people.

I think it's more important we get some sort of an informal dress code going than worrying about this, which is a small, or nonexistent problem.

I don't see what the big deal is. If you are blessed to be able to breastfeed then you should have a right to do so whenever and wherever you (and/or your child) choose. I've always felt that people who are "uncomfortable" seeing a nursing mother need to think about why that is. They are doing something that is 100% natural and as God intended. If society has changed the perceptions of some, then that's a shame.

Personally, if I had been physiologically able to nurse my children, I would have. I would have done so discreetly because I know that there are those who are shaken by such natural phenomena, but the needs of my children always came first.

Oh, and by the way I DARE anyone to tell me their children are smarter than mine because they weren't breast fed!

Thanks so much for your beautiful article! I currently have a newborn baby that I am nursing, and I found comfort in what you wrote and especially in the pictures.

FYI, there is a new ministry that was started called the Catholic Nursing Mother's League. Here is the web address:
www.catholicbreastfeeding.org

Actually, nursing a baby isn't (always or even usually)an intimate act, it's an act of FEEDING a baby. While I'm all for discreet feeding, if I need to be hidden under a blanket, or go to another room to feed my baby, then so should bottle feeding mothers. I mean, a bottle "represents" a breast, right? It could make someone think impure thoughts to see a mother bottle feed, right?

I don't even nurse exposed like that at home, for Pete's sake. About the only time you'd catch me like that is immediately after delivery when the hospital gown won't really accomodate any other position.

Now, a word to the No-Breastfeeding-At-Mass crowd: I apologize if you've been exposed to exhibitionist women. Truly, I do. They must be out there somewhere, because I keep reading about them, but I've never actually seen on in real life. Ever.

The staple wardrobe of all the nursing women I've known consists of 1) nursing dresses (yes, specially designed so you can just lift a flap or pleat without exposing half your upper torse!) and 2) top and bottom combos where the top is generally a bit loose-fitting and doesn't need to be tucked in. The mechanics aren't that hard-- life the shirt enough to latch on baby, whilst keeping the fabric draped enough to avoid torso exposure. Those who are still practicing or just prefer the coverage will throw a receiving blanket over baby for an extra layer of protection. The blanket isn't always a great option for some mothers, since some babies take the blanket as a cue to start playing peek-a-boo. Cute, but definitely calls attention to mom and baby, which is not the goal here. So skipping the blanket is sometimes the more discreet thing to do.

Oh yeah, and pumping!!!! I gotta address that. I've successfully nursed eight babies. I have yet, ever, to successfully produce more than about two ounces of expressed milk, and not for lack of trying, mind you. It just doesn't work for everybody, and frankly, we shouldn't have to. It is entirely possible to nurse in public (YES, even at Mass!) with discretion and modesty.

okay...Ken--concealed weapons??? That has cracked me up! I'm still laughing as I type and hoping that our local cartoonist doesn't get ahold of that thought!

Ann---maybe old people are just cold...you know, have to cover up more........(really, just kidding!) I agree that we have lost the "sense of appropriate" when it comes to dressing for 'special occasions'. But hanging the guilt on breastfeeding mothers shoulders (they are quite full already folks)---let's give them break.

Is this the longest comments section ever on InsideCatholic? With much to discuss and "worry" about today.....(where is the little smiley icon that rolls it's eyes?)

In response to the comments about occassions of sin I have to put my two cents in here. I assure any of you men (or women) out there that this is the furthest thing from a nursing mother's mind. Nursing is such a non sexual experience that to even think that someone else would view it as anything other than nourishing a child is absurd. Do you have issue with pregnant women in Mass...because after all, we all know how that happened. Would that be cause for occasion of sin?? Should those with child sit in the back or sit in the bathroom until they are not with child?

While I agree that the key word is discreet, I ask all of you reading this to consider that this isn't a "lifestyle" choice. It's what our breasts were made for. Our bodies are meant to nourish life...why is it considered gross after the baby leaves the mother's womb? I just don't get it.

"The evidence is overwhelming that many (and as I posted earlier, I suspect “unknowingly”), are 'naked with shame.'"

Of course. We are fallen creatures. Or are you seriously proposing that Catholics ought to be shamelessly attending Mass in the nude?

"I wish John Paul II could weigh in on this discussion. He would help us all understand why not only is breastfeeding at mass beautiful and most acceptable, but also that, if our minds were properly formed to God’s plan, even Jesus on the cross doesn’t need a loin cloth!"

Oh good grief. Now you're just helping the anti-breastfeeders. I don't know what JP-II might have said but if he was critical of artists who placed a loincloth on the crucified Christ I think he was off his rocker.

You don't need "Theology of the Body" to approve of discreet breastfeeding in public. I approve of it - with enthusiasm - and it has nothing to do with TOTB and everything to do with simple, earthy, incarnational Catholicism.

Somehow I got here from Ms. Scalia's website, theanchoressonline.com. I hope I'm not overly-presumptive in commenting here.

OK, I'm Lutheran and not Roman Catholic, but nursing moms at church haven't been that rare for as long as I can remember. In the olden days (and still now), most church buildings had a special room where moms could go for a bit of privacy, and still participate in the worship service. (Generally a room with a big window into the sanctuary, speaker system, comfortable chairs, etc.)

Nowadays, one normally sees (or, more precisely, doesn't see) the mom with a small receiving blanket or whatnot to preserve privacy.

OTOH, there <i>are</i> incidents of what might best be described as 'exhibitionism'. Yes, doing so is sinful; it also doesn't deny proper breastfeeding. Wasn't it the proto-Lutheran St. Augustine who noted that <i>abusus non tollit usum</i>? Applied to this topic, one would note that the exhibitionists who seek to distract are abusing breastfeeding, and that does not deny the proper breastfeeding of those who are not exhibitionists.

Now admittedly Lutheran theology differs from RC theology (I think it better balances the extremes of the RC and Protestant groups), but worship services are usually Western Rite and not *that* much different.

At the risk of embarrassing him, I believe Steve Skojec just closed the case on this question in his newest blog post, here:
http://tinyurl.com/6277sg

I'd like to see the public breastfeeding critics interact with his arguments.

Could I drink a bottle of water during Mass? What if I were discreet and hid myself under a blanket? Why would God be offended? He created the water that "nourishes my body".

I think every one would want me to to drink before/after Mass. Or, at the least, leave the chapel while drinking.

This isn't hateful or mean for me to say. So please, cut it out with the overly emotional reations. There are just some things you shouldn't do in Church.

Beth, to your comment...

Ann---maybe old people are just cold...you know, have to cover up more........(really, just kidding!) I agree that we have lost the "sense of appropriate" when it comes to dressing for 'special occasions'. But hanging the guilt on breastfeeding mothers shoulders (they are quite full already folks)---let's give them break.

Huh? I was sticking up for nursing mothers.

We have bigger fish to fry in terms of what's appropriate at Mass.

Well, it seems that some of us need to work on the gift of self control. I am amazed that a nursing mother is expected to put the desires for a complete and total distraction free liturgy over the needs of their own flesh and blood. Get over it. Nothing screams HEY I AM NURSING AND I AM AFRAID YOU WILL SEE MY BOOB more than a blanket. I nurse all the time at liturgy, in a sling, out of a sling, but never with a blanket. Most of the time you can't tell I am even nursing. If you cannot be in the presence of a nursing mom and not look away, I advise you stay home and not her. Her need for grace from God is greater at this point, and you cannot cooperate and use the gifts given to you by the holy spirit (namely self control) then you have something to work on. Other faiths give men a pass on controlling themselves, forcing women to wear burkas and such. If this it the Catholic Church you envision, please count me out. I don't see anyone throwing blankets on scantily clad women or throwing women out for bottle feeding their children, so lay off the nursing mommas!

Breasts are not dirty, they are not sexual objects, they are designed BY GOD to develop and lactate for our children. If you cannot understand basic biology I am very sorry for you indeed. If you don't understand that you are not allowed to put your hang ups on the backs of holy women caring for their young the same way Mary did, that taking your sexual rage and angst against those bringing up the next generation is SINFUL then you need to go to a cry room and pout by yourself.

I am pregnant with what we hope will be our ninth addition to the family. I have 8 other children between the ages of 2 and 13. My awesome husband is not Catholic. I will breastfeed my baby in Mass and anywhere else that God's natural design for their bodies goes into affect and clammors for mother's milk.

No, I will not torture my breasts by pumping and then being humiliated by leaking milk through layers of breast shields and clothes during mass. (I've never been able to contain the leaking regardless of amount of padding! ARGH!)

No, I will not watch my baby fuss and cry because they want their mother - who is right there! And a bottle does not replace the comfort many nursing babies get from nursing. Nursing is not just about feeding nutrient. It feeds the heart as well.

No, I will not leave my other children unattended in the pew to step away with the baby. I have an obligation to see to it that ALL my children attend mass. So no, I will not simply stay home either.

No, I will not flash my breasts at anyone either. For goodness sakes, use some common sense. I have never seen any woman just pop a boob out for all to see. Most, including me, are very discreet and most people just think the baby is sleeping under the blanket.

Yes, I will attend mass.
Yes, I will feed and comfort my infant as God intended whenever they need it.

Because as a christian I have an obligation to put others before myself and to work on my own sins before anothers.

Because when a person becomes a mother, they put their child's NEEDS above all else, including the prudes in the pews around them that should be concentrating on their own faults instead of blaming their fellow christian for those faults.

If you are distracted at mass, then that is something you need to work on. If it's not the breastfeeding mother, it'll be something else. YOU have an obligation to focus on the mass just as I have an obligation to focus on my children at mass. I will soon have 9 other souls entrusted to me to assist in learning and understanding and focusing on the Mass. You'll just have to offer it up if I don't add you to the list. And no, my children are momst certainly not being rude or ill mannered at mass. Sometimes we have to discipline them at Mass, but most of the time I think they behave better than a good portion of the adults around them!

No, the church is not my house, but it is the house of my Father in heaven. I don't think my Father in heaven would tell me to bring my children to Him and then have a hissy fit when I meet the needs He created in every infant. I certainly can't imagine my Father telling me to leave His house because of it.

I struggled with nursing my first 2 kids because I was so worried about someone knowing what I was doing under the blanket. Consequently, I only nursed them for 3 months and used formula to feed at Mass. Not until my 3rd child was born, did I truly realize and embrace that God had given me a way to feed and comfort her.
Life isn't always neat and tidy. God is real. He even became totally human to share in our humanity. He wasn't sitting from His neat and tidy throne watching his dirty little creatures interacting with one another. He became one of us to share in our experiences and to teach us that we are holy and beautiful. While modesty is always essential, so is Christian charity and a willingess to try to understand that we don't know what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes. We work hard to keep our children from distracting others, but sometimes we do. Honestly, until you've tried to get 5 children to church and sit quietly and also tend to your little baby, you really don't know what it is like. We are a pro-life faith. Let us keep a pro-life attitude to these young families that are adhering to the tenets of the Catholic faith.

Well, Nicole,
I'm not agnostic or atheist, and I found a lot of the comments cringe-worthy as well.
I think it interesting to note that the only comments you focused on were the negative ones. And that "affirmed" you in your negativity toward people who believe in God.
I'm tempted now to be affirmed in my negativity toward agnostics for being stereotypical and looking for the worst in believers. But I'm going to avoid that temptation, and try to meet each one with an open mind. I think you might consider the same.
The more gracious comments, by the way, are more indicative of what believers teach and should be trying to live out. My judgement is that you probably know this but don't care. I'll be gracious and grant that you have reasons of which I know not, so I'll withhold that judgement from further development.

I'm surprised that those baptized in pickle juice have not castigated the infant for failing to maintain the eucharistic fast...it's a sin!!!

Ignore the babyhaters...they probably contracept and treat the body merely as a lust object.

Yes, Leo a grown man shouldn't drink water during church, but we are talking about newborn babies and infants. And honestly, I have seen people with medical conditions drinking water during Mass and I am just so glad they are there to worship with us.

Just a little info...
Babies aren't born with built in schedules. They feed on demand, so you may have just fed your 8 week old and their tummies are so littel that by the time they get to Mass, they are hungry again.

Our church did put a nursing mom's room in the ladies rest room of the church. There is a rocker and a tv, so that you can see and hear Mass. It is lovely and I used it as well. However, there are times when you can't leave your other 4 to nurse your one little one.

Sex is also a beautiful bonding moment created by God - do we do this in a church?

Have any of you against breastfeeding in church have read Theology of the body? In it JPII compares the consumption of the Eucharist as the consummation in the wedding feast. It is at that point that the bride (the church) is taking into her body the body of the bridegroom (Christ). So yes, we do basically have sex with Christ in church.

I know of women who breast-feed in our Church, but they do it so discreetly that no one would know without very careful observance. I just don't see why that is a problem. On the other hand, I am troubled by all the appeals to the natural beauty of breast-feeding, since they seem to suggest that discretion is unimportant or unnecessary. I would hope that most people would agree that discretion is the key. I suspect that absolutists on either side represent a small minority, and in my view for good reason.

Leo, I sometimes have to take a sip of water during Mass.

I'm in the choir. I'm allergic to the lovely oak trees blooming outside the church. It's either a quick, discrete sip of water, or singing like a frog through the lovely strains of "Panis Angelicus" or "Shepherd of Souls." Which do you think would be more distracting to the congregation?

And that's the exact debate nursing moms are having with themselves: is it more distracting for me to nurse this fussy, wiggly baby under a blanket or other cover, or get up, climb over the knees of a dozen people and hope I can get to the back of the church before baby starts screaming? As a former nursing mom who did sometimes nurse in church, I can tell you that it's not an easy question to decide, and sometimes you pick the wrong option--but it's not because you lack concern for those around you.

When we had babies we drove over an hour each way to Mass with three children ages 2.5, 1.5, and nursing infant. I did try to feed baby before we left. I did try to feed her again in the parking lot after an hour-long drive down twisty foothill roads. And if we sat down in the main church instead of the cry room, were we welcomed charitably? NO. We were glared at, mainly by elderly people who couldn't believe we'd be so gauche and inconsiderate as to bring CHILDREN to Mass, to disturb their comfort.

Most of the time we sat in the cry room--after an hour's drive, and trying to teach our children how to behave at Mass while the example set for them was of other children running and playing. Eventually we moved away from the whole darned state, and found a better place to live and to be Catholic without such Pharisees as our sole "community."

That state was in the South, and I can't tell you how many times friendly people would invite us and all our children to their Protestant services. If my husband and I hadn't been strong cradle Catholics I can tell you we'd have been pretty tempted to take them up on their kind and friendly offers.

I wonder how many Catholics have been driven from the church by the cold unfriendliness of so many toward children and moms and nursing babies?

Uh, no, not really. The word "basically" has to do some mighty heavy-lifting in order to avoid a open and shut case of felony analogy abuse.

The Church has historically depicted Charity as a mother nursing her child. Only 2 weeks ago, the official newspaper of the Holy See reminded us that a nursing mother says with Christ, "This is my body given up for you." So not only is a mother nursing at Mass not an occasion of sin, but rather, a paragon of the chief virtue and a living incarnation of the kind of sacrifice of self which all of us are called to offer together with the Holy Sacrifice on the altar.

With Margaret, I say that there can be no sin when a woman chooses not to use a modern instrument of torture (the pump) or silicon breast imitations in order to assist at Holy Mass. There can be no sin when she nurses so discretely that those around her have no idea it's happening (they rarely do). With Steve, I say that we should look at breastfeeding mothers not as some occasion to sin like a Hooter's girl, but as a model of the Blessed Lady of La Leche.

Much of the problem is that our "modern" world has forgotten that a nursing mother and child are one unit. When we realize that babies need to eat *frequently*, not on our 2-4hr schedules, and esp. in the early months, and that the best way to get an infant or toddler through Mass quietly is to nurse him, and that the vast majority of nursing mothers do so w/o baring an inch of skin, we will realize how unreasonable it is to expect a nursing mother to separate from her nursling for over an hour each week/day, relegate her older children to the cry/zoo room, drape in a blanket (that proclaims to all what she is doing underneath it), or forgo God's built-in pacification system for a rubber&mechanized one.

Nursing is not an "intimate activity" akin to sex or a bodily function like urinating - it is what babies do. All the time.

I do agree that the choice of picture for this article is unfortunate. I've never seen a woman nurse like that in public in my life. Nor is *she* in public. It doesn't seem relevant, and brings out the worst fears of those who value purity.

The "occasion of sin" issue is truly moot. Ask men - they may be embarrassed - very - when they first realize a woman is nursing, but few, very few, are find themselves fighting anything beyond a brief, easily overcome, thought.

"Suffer not the little children to come unto me."
"Blessed are the breasts that gave you suck!"

I don't have the time or inclination to go through every post above. However, I've nursed both my son and daughter anywhere and everywhere from beaches, to battlefields, to movie theaters, and - dare I says it - Mass! I don't think anyone has every noticed, frankly!

Where are these women that are exposing themselves and so offending people with their flesh? I look for breastfeeding moms and I've NEVER seen one being immodest. I suppose it must happen occasionally, but the outcry above is a little over the top.

The prudish reactions of some say more about their understanding of modesty than the discreet nursing mom who is merely tending to the needs of her child. Frankly, I've found little else in life, other than pregnancy, that so profoundly brings home what is proclaimed at every Mass - "This is my body, given up for you."

I continue to think that those who would deny mothers and infants an opportunity for discreet breastfeeding at Mass are over the top and very much a minority, as are those who would have us believe that breasts are not in any way sexual and therefore no discretion is required. Most sensible people understand that competing considerations demand common sense, compromise and discretion. But there are extremists on every issue, even this one it seems.

You are absolutely right, Mike. Neither defect nor excess - prudence lies in the middle course. Nursing discretely is easily learned through practicing at home (maybe with a mirror) and no great burden. It makes life easier for mother & baby - because it is natural, and what God intended, for comforting the little one.

I nursed my children in the pew back when I was Lutheran, too. (Actually, I have yet to nurse any of my children in a Catholic church, because I haven't had a nursling since I became Catholic.) The only person who ever made a comment to me about it was a woman who was on home leave from her husband's posting in Zaire, who told me not to look so scared while I was nursing my newborn during church--in Zaire the women didn't cover up at all, and might be nursing multiple children during the time period the service took.

No, when I was Pentecostal, I never once in my life saw a woman nurse anywhere, and when visiting that church w/ my parents, I saw the nursing women encouraged to a nursing room (full of playing children, hard to concentrate) or a nursing rocker in the nursery (no sight or sound of the service). I've found the Catholic Church FAR more accepting of nursing in public, so much so that my family explains my "lactivism" by my conversion. No one has ever said anything to me in person; online is the only hostility I've ever seen.

As the L'Osservatore article said, the breast-phobia is a leakage of Calvinist total depravity into the Catholic faithful. Discomfort with the idea of nursing is a result of the technology-worshipping 20th century Modernism. Discrete nursing is the solution to all.

I nursed both my children at Mass, at the grocery store, at the mall, at the library, at my voice teacher's wedding (!)...and even, in the back row of an auditorium, at an orchestra concert in which my husband was playing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing any of these things modestly, as Kate did it, and unobtrusively, as she also did it, and I applaud both her and the lovely witness of the mom in front of her, who taught her it could be done in a way that blessed both her and her child.

The most ironic--and humorous--aspect of some of this vitriol being flung at nursing mothers in church is that, nine times out of ten, these people could look at a nursing mother and baby in church and NEVER KNOW what was going on...it would just look like the baby was sleeping under a blanket in his/her mother's arms. They're reacting to the IDEA, not to the actual happening of anything "vulgar" in front of their eyes; this says more about them than it ever will about the mothers and babies!

Better she should nurse her baby quietly in church than have to take it to a so-called "cry room." A less worshipful or even minimally quiet place would be hard to imagine, and if anything, that would make a baby HARDER to soothe than simply covering her with a blanket and allowing her to have closeness with her mother.

And if in the rare instance, once in awhile, a woman has either shown some bad judgment or has a "wardrobe malfunction" and may reveal more of her person than you're comfortable with...try acting like a grownup and LOOKING AWAY. Hey, you might even try...oh, I dunno, maybe SAYING A PRAYER for her. Splendid antidote to vitriol, that.

JB

My point (waaaaay above) was simply that breastfeeding is yet another example of an unnecessary distraction during Mass. I'd love to have the recollection of the saints so that the screaming / crying / eating / running / jumping / talking of children and the indifference of SOME (not all) parents doesn't bother me. . . but I don't.

Breastfeeding during Mass -- just like drinking water by an adult -- is appropriate IN A DIFFERENT PLACE.

Let's just have quiet, reverent Masses -- please.

It is interesting that this thread seems to encompass a debate between (i) those who favor public breastfeeding, including at church, if performed discreetly and (ii) those who think public breastfeeding, or at least breastfeeding in church, is inappropriate regardless the level of discretion. Whereas Mark Shea's blog has a thread encompassing a debate between (i) those who favor public breastfeeding, including at church, if performed discreetly and (ii) those who think public breastfeeding in any forum should require little or no discretion whatsoever. The extremists seem to be attracted to different blogs. In any case I continue to hold for (i) and against either (ii).

Ann--Re: your post 117: Confused--

I'm sorry! I know you are sticking up for breast feeding mothers and I was attempting a bit of humor--you know, old people being cold and so needing more clothes when in reality, older generations know how to dress appropriately for the occasion.

I have nursed all 7 of my kids and pray I can nurse #8. Yep, in church too. I've felt a little awkward many times but have relied on St. Ignatius' longing to be a "Fool for Christ". I thought, "Well, if someone think's I'm a "fool" to be here with my kids and their needs, then let them think I'm a fool."

As I stated on Steve's thread, far more fellow Catholics welcome children, nursing, and families in all sizes than the negative comments seen here. I do hope that is the attitude in most parishes. If not, a way to change it is to take the opportunity to welcome families and especially compliment those kids who are behaving and participating. If there are restless kids around you, be sure to offer them the Sign of Peace--encourage the parents to keep on coming and keep trying to get them to sit still, pay attention because they will eventually learn.

And I'm with you on the need for a change of attitude in acceptable attire at Mass. It's pretty bad out there.

Forgive the lack of clarity from this hormone-riddled mom!

Kate -- I'm wondering if those that commented negatively on your article are also distracted by the parents who have the unmitigated gall to bring their grossly disabled children, wheelchairs, pumps, tubes, rolling eyes, and all to Mass and park them right smack dab in the aisle, for all the parishioners to see, not to mention have to navigate around to receive Communion. Surely these wheelchair-bound kids would be more distracting than a young babe discreetly at its mother's breast. Yet, don't they deserve a place in front of Our Jesus? Or should they go into hiding as well? -- At our parish, we have two altar servers that oftentimes serve together. Both young boys around 12 or 13, one is just a little taller than a tabletop. The other server is already about 6'2". These two are about as distracting as can be as they walk up together to assist the priest. Should they not be allowed to serve together? And as far as your breastfeeding baby, Kate, I have to tell you a story. When I was only seven years old, my mother, who was not a very warm person, sent me on a trip to Arizona with my grandma for the summer (to no doubt get me out of her hair). Whilst there, I attended a very small worn clapboard church. A woman was there every Sunday with her small children ... she had a few. But the one I remember the most was the little baby under the blue blanket. Although I only glanced over at her a few times, it seemed I would stare at her the whole service. The fact I'm now almost 58 and still vividly remember this woman and her "blanket" tells you something about the great impression it left upon me. So go ahead and breastfeed your beautiful baby during Mass. There might be a little girl whose mother is not so openly loving that will remember it for the rest of her life. And for those that are distracted -- they might benefit from more Masses (they offer it "every" day), recitation of the Rosary (every day again is helpful!), and Confession. It seems all the saints I've ever read about recommend this same triune punch!

Great article, thank you!

-Jeanette
http://cathlete.net

As a read these comments, I think back to the Church I grew up in. It was a box shaped church with the pews one right after the other. There were probably 100 or so pews on each side of the main aisle. It probably looks like every Catholic Church built in the 1860s. If I sat in a specific pew I wouldn't be able to see what was going on behind me unless I was looking around, which probably means I wasn't paying too much attention to Mass.

So if I breast-feeding mother was breast feeding behind me I would never see it. Also there were spots in the Church that were hidden because of the support pillars. Additionally, when everyone was standing up it was often hard to see what was going on in front.

Unless a nursing mother sat next to you, how on Earth would you see them?
Which leads to the next question, why aren't you watching the priest on the altar?

The only person I would think would have a problem would be the priest.

I'm confused as to what the big deal is. I would think as long as the mom and baby aren't getting jiggy with it, it would be fine.

This is starting to really get out of context. A mother feeding her child naturally is not something that a mother should go hide and do. It's not fair to the mother or child. Yes, people are going to look and that's because our society has sexualized a womens breast. Men have breasts too, but ours are just getting fatter as we get older. :) I didn't always think like this, but once I had a child and I had to help her feed him I realized this. Now before you all assume I'm some “tree hugging liberal” I'm not. I'm a 32-year-old husband, father, educated, conservative, practicing Roman Catholic. Also, one last simple fact. Breast feeding is more nourishing, cheaper, and better for both mom and baby. If you want to see breasts, go to Hooters!

-Mike

Jesus never says anything in the Gospels (Private Revelations don't count) about a "quiet, reverent Mass."

The Apostles, however, *do* complain about children being "distracting," and what does Jesus say to *them*?

It amazes me how many "Catholics," "traditional" or otherwise, have a complete mental block when it comes to this passage.

It's simple: Jesus says that, if you don't like kids at Mass, you won't like Heaven much, either.


Jeanette,

Thanks for your comparison! Don't forget the disabled adults!

I could write a book (and probably will someday) on how I horribly have been treated my whole life as a disabled person in the Church.

We've come a long way from what Jesus intended. And half of that comes from the obsession with "curing people if they have enough faith," and looking down on anyone who's sick as a sinner (something Jesus very clearly speaks against).

Let's not forget that Jesus was preaching *in His own House* in Capernaum and they literally tore the roof open to lower down the paralytic. Did Jesus say, "Hey! We're having a quiet, respectful Mass here!"?

I'm a mother of five, and when the current baby needs to nurse at mass, I always go to the cry room. I have friends who nurse everywhere, including mass. I personally feel shy about nursing in public and could never do it out in the open, especially at mass. If you're not shy and do it discretely, then go for it.

JC -- The more canes, wheelchairs, walkers, oxygen tanks, suffering and disabled people, at Mass, the better. I do not know why people would treat you horribly in church (I'll read the book!). Might they be the same crowd that doesn't like in-church breastfeeding?

-Jeanette

WAY TO GO, KATE! I am shocked by the boobophobes who responded here. The vast majority of women are so discreet when nursing that people think the baby is sleeping in their arms.

Would these fellow parishioners rather you have a happy, suckling baby or a screaming, hungry baby?

Does God want you to leave his house and miss his message to feed your child? Of course not!

You critics need to get a grip. Man made breasts a sexual object in our country (they're not in every country).

God made breasts to feed his most vulnerable children.

Angela Hoy
Nursing Mom (of a 2-year-old! gasp!!) and Author of
DON'T CUT ME AGAIN! True Stories About Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC)
(Yeah, I bet that title makes some of the critics squirm!)

While I hesitate weighing in on such a delicate subject (and I could only take the time to gloss at the many posts), I believe this is a matter of chastity which leads to modesty.

Nobody doubts (including JPII) that woman was wonderfully created and, as such, has the full attention of men. Dressing modestly, for instance, is not some form of subjugation, but a recognition that the attraction of woman, so wonderfully made, can "capture" the attention of men.

Just as scantily clad attire at Mass has the power to, at least, distract from worship and, possibly, be an occassion of sin, an exposed woman's breast can, obviously do the same ... it's only natural and, yes, God ordained.

This is not a matter of anything "dirty" occurring here, but an admission of the wonder and beauty of God's Pièce de résistance -- Woman.

Modesty and coverings both help men from "going ga ga," awhen they should be worshipping, and makes the statement that "exposure" is for my beloved alone -- chasity in marriage.

Mass would be the last place to draw attention away from God to oneself. Women must understand the power of their beauty and protect for their beloved alone -- especially at Mass.

Fr Richard,
So what is a nursing mother (with other children in the pew as well) to do then? If I can breastfeed modestly--ie covered, am I allowed to feed my baby at Mass or not? Must I remove myself and my baby from Mass if the baby needs to nurse or is this a prudent descision I can make myself?

I just posted this over at Steve's article, but in case people aren't following, I feel I need to mention it here:

Steve once again has said what I failed to: "Mothers do not nurse their babies in Mass because it is the best place to nurse them, because they want to nurse them, or because it helps them to concentrate on the divine Sacrifice. They do so because, often as not, they MUST do so."

When I MUST do this, I have the responsibility to nurse discreetly because of the respect I have for men. We should support breastfeeding - especially in Mass where all of us are called to be open to life, not just those married couples in the season of fecundity - but it should be done in a way that does not seem to “make a statement” as some people wrongly assumed I was trying to do. I don’t consider myself a breastfeeding militant.

Moreover, at the risk of fueling the fire for another debate, many people who commented seemed to have missed the point that that I use ecological breastfeeding as a part of NFP - that means feeding on demand and not using pacifiers, etc. for soothing a baby. This form of breastfeeding - if done correctly - works beautifully in naturally spacing children. My girls are 2 1/2 years apart. I became pregnant the month I weaned my first. I call this God Family Planning. Even some of the more charitable comments didn’t seem to understand ecological breastfeeding, NFP, or baby development. Babies, especially little ones, eat frequently.

And again, it seems the "idea" of nursing in Mass is what is really distracting. I've said it over and over, but no one would know I was nursing my baby. So, should I miss out on Mass or at least the vast majority of it and keep my other children from being there as well since they want to be by Mommy so that no one will be distracted from the "idea" of the beautiful (or lustful, self-indulgent -whichever side of the fence you're on) image of me nursing my child?

I am not trying to be unkind or offensive and I welcome discourse when done in the spirit of Christ. I think, perhaps, that some of us may have to respectfully disagree on this topic and continue to pray to God for guidance.

Thankfully, the only one I have to answer to is God and as a friend encouraged me, she just can't see our Lord weeping over a mother nursing discreetly in Mass.

In Christ,
Kate

Thanks, Kate, for the clarification. The pic with your title was proposing something QUITE different. Again, exposure is for your beloved. Discreet, without anyone really knowing seems to be the way. Thanks for drumming up the discussion.

Why so many people are so offended by the simple, God given act of breastfeeding?

Because it reminds men that breasts are not sexual organs, but put there for their benefit of tiny helpless babies. Because it reminds them that women are not sexual playthings but mothers, in fact or in potency. Because it reminds them that their needs and wants are secondary to a tiny baby, that they might rank lower in the scheme of things than this helpess creature who can only cry when in need.

If such a lesson does not belong in Church, where then does it belong?

How horrible that a woman should want to feed her child in the house of the LORD, using her BREAST of all things!!! The LORD did not create the Breast to feed children; He created it to tempt good Godly men into the depths of hell!!! If a woman has the urge to whip out her Breast in public, she should have that Breast removed. It is an offense in the eye of the LORD and everyone knows that something should be cut off if it is offensive.

Plus, those babies need to learn to Fast like good Christian soldiers. Mass is a great time for them to start learning about Christian values of asceticism, denial, and sufferation!!!

Women, keep those Breasts covered or leave them at home!!!!!

C.S. Lewis tells us that our sexual appetite is abnormally inflamed, by our culture. We are sensitized to breasts as purely sexual, so a breast in Church can be awfully distracting. My very pious husband will not sit in the same room with a breast feeding woman, not because he thinks it's wrong for her to breast feed, but because he finds his mind turning to sexual thoughts, against his will, when he sees a breast. (That's awfully explicit, sorry.)
I have not breastfed in Church myself, but have sat next to friends who do it. With a newborn it can be quite discreet, but breast feeding gets a lot less discreet with toddlers. A good friend of mine who is an avid breast feeder was feeding a child recently in Mass next to me. She didn't notice there was a young man behind her who was RIVETED by the sight. I told her discretely.

I applaud breast feeders (I"ve breast fed my 4 bio children) but it can incite lasciviousness, I think. Sad, since it is a wonderful loving way to tend to our children.

Dear Kate,

Your article was of particular interest to me because I am a Christian. Brought up in a non-believing family, I was nevertheless sent to a Catholic primary school and Brethren Sunday School, was converted as an adult into the Anglican Church under Billy Graham's ministry, and am currently in membership at a Baptist Church. I tell you this because I don't like labels and because I believe God uses every denomination to further his kingdom.

What has all this to do with your plight, I hear you ask. One of my earlier books (I've had eight published) was a Christian testimony about my daughter's drug addiction. In addition to the sympathy and gratitude (for those it helped), it also brought me some condemnation - just as you have had. I can't pretend it didn't hurt. I'm a sensitive soul. But in God's grace I was enabled to show grace to those who condemned me. And I'm so glad I feel no bitterness to them - especially as my daughter died some years later and I've now written of that event.

I fed my girls on planes and trains – wherever they needed to be fed – though not, I think, in church, because the need never arose. However, in our seaside Baptist Church - big by British standards (500 members rising to 1000 congregants in the summer) mothers feel free to breastfeed discreetly, and people dress informally - or in their Sunday best, as is appropriate to them. (Some responses to Kate’s article condemned the wearing of shorts in church). We recognise the value of the individual, whilst celebrating each one as a worthy and enriching part of the Body.

As you pointed out, so much of what passes for 'good theology' is often no more than cultural mores. We, in the Western World, live in a culture intent upon thrusting MY viewpoint, MY belief system, MY lifestyle in the face of opposition (all in the name of Tolerance!) with the express purpose of being confrontational. But the point you were making is that your freedom to breastfeed is not intended to impinge upon the freedom of others, nor to be confrontational. Neither is it your intention to be the means of making anyone fall.

I think Romans 14 sums it up for me, especially verse 4 which has stood me in good stead for years. I hope you will excuse the changes I’ve made: 'Who are (they / am I) to judge someone else's servant? To (your) own master (you) stand or fall. And (you) will stand, for the Lord is able to make (you) stand.' And so - hopefully - will all those who condemn you, if and when they rise above their prejudice. Love Mel. Author of A Painful Post Mortem – a contemporary story of love stretched to its limits.

Apparently you get an erection from watching babies nurse. How disturbing!

Yep! You mothers who nurse might cause the priest to start wacking it during the middle of the Eucharist.

I agree!!!!!! We need to look at something less arousing during mass, so the time has come for men to step up and lactate. God gave man nipples too, therefore he should lactate and feed thy babies.

Okay... feeding a baby and fornicating are two comparable actions. LMAO Weirdo!

I thought it was a myth that the Catholic Church was full of perverts. After reading through the comments, I was made aware that the myth is true. My wife and I are floored to read how many grown men (and women) are sexually turned on by the photo above and the site of woman feeding her child with her breast. You've made something innocent and natural into something disgusting and lewd. How shameful!

Nursing mothers should not be allowed in the church unless they are wearing a burqa.

This was a lovely read, and so true! God made breasts to feed babies...so why not feed your baby in God's house? And the idea that someone might be led into sin because they caught a quick glance of a woman discreetly nursing her little one...? Gimme a break, please.

To those that say leave to nurse, or feed with a bottle...as far as I'm concerned, if people think feeding baby by breast is "wrong" for Mass, then feeding by bottle should be as well. EVERYONE can take their baby to the cry room, the darkest hidden corner, wherever is deemed "appropriate". Anything other than that is discrimination, pure and simple.

I nursed my babies at mass. I have stood between two people neither of whom even knew I was nursing. Of course some babies make it more difficult than others to be discrete, refusing to have their heads covered or suddenly pulling away from the breast. Women certainly should avoid displaying their breasts, but momentary exposures shouldn't be treated as offensive.

I have also nursed on the bus, while visiting older children's kindergarden classes, at the grocery store, at restaurants, on the train, at the parish social ministry meeting, at the beach, in the park, at the zoo, at school plays and concerts, at the movies, at museums. When I was going to nursing school at a community college I stopped in at the campus day care center between classes and nursed my two year old. (And she was the most happy and confident child there, cheerfully saying good bye and running off to play when I had to leave for class.)

Nursing breasts are functional and really don't have the erotic charge that breasts partially covered and partially exposed in a sexual way do. In cultures when women nurse babies wherever they are, men are not turned on by this.

And yes, I would nurse my baby at my in laws table or if the boss came for dinner. If invited to the bosses house I would let his wife know I had a nursing baby whom I would not leave for several hours and tell them that unless they were comfortable with my nursing at their house I would have to decline the invitation. Of course my husband was never a high powered executive with a boss whose favor needed to be curried, thank God.

Nursing is not a sexual act, nor is it an excretory function, as some here have implied. It is not something which needs to be private or secret. Women should not have to pump their milk and put it in bottles. This does cause nipple confusion for younger babies. Many older nursing babies will have nothing to do with a rubber nipple; they know better!

I nursed nine children...and even nursed one of my grandchildren at times when her mother was out. One child nursed until he was over three, unusual for our culture but a norm in freely breastfeeding cultures. I only wish that time in my life weren't past. Mothers, appreciate this wonderful gift and give it freely to your babies, and don't let the prudes of the world spoil it for you.
Susan Peterson

I am absolutely shocked at some of the things that people have said here (e.g. The LORD did not create the Breast to feed children). THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE LORD CREATED THE BREAST FOR!!! Do you think they had processed formula to give to babies a couple hundred years ago? Formula is simply an artificial substitute for human breast milk. Just a guess, but all you anti-breastfeeding people have probably never breastfed before right? Most likely you put your own needs above that of the health of your child and decided to go with the more convenient formula. Or maybe you are just childless and bitter.

Oh, and the next time any of you anti-breastfeeding people decide you need a bite to eat, make sure to do it covered in a bathroom stall.

As my very wise mother pointed out, women's breast were made for breastfeeding and it is time for the world to realize this. I took all my children to Mass from the time they were two to three weeks old by myself. I breast fed all four. Breastfeeding by its design is meant to keep the mother and child bond stong, intense and constant. It is a perfect supply and demand system that is kept efficient by nursing when a baby is hungry. Often times, breast fed babies don't have to cry because the mother is in tune just with a certain sound and interaction signaling her to let down.These babies are actually more calm. Obviously, its design in creation was for the demands to be met in a rather immediate manner. Yes, I covered up, but more importantly I heard Mass with my children. They learned that we go to Mass every Sunday, they remember no differently. I did not have the problem of food bags and unruly behavior as they learned that Mass was about Jesus. One more thought, I can't think of a more beautiful gift from God than a family worshipping God together being thankful for the beautiful new gift of life unfolding before their eyes.
If the sight of part of a woman's breast accidently exposed during breastfeeding produces a sexualizing experience in a person, perhaps they should examine why they are entertaining the second thought instead of redirecting their mind and heart to God...perhaps they should thank God for the new gift of life and get on with their full participation in the Mass. That breastfed child may be a future priest or religious.

I am not Catholic but part of the body of Christ and attend a Mennonite congregation. As a new mother I have received comments along both lines of thought exhibited here. I love the words of Paul quoted in an earlier post. I believe that the ability to produce a child and then to provide that child with a perfect God designed nourishment is miraculous, like manna in the desert. Only God can give life and as proven by our many attempts to duplicate breast milk, only God can provide a perfect food for our baby's immature digestive systems. (God did give us the intelligence to design something close so that children of adoptive mothers and those who can not produce milk will not suffer but live, but for those able to breastfeed there is no equal or better substitute to God's original design.)

I wish this was the perfect world of the garden before sin made even the thought of a breast a distraction, and discretion while breastfeeding a necessity. I do not want to further debate the correct etiquette of breastfeeding as it seems some would not be happy unless it was abolished all together. Thanks be to God for the insight given to PJPII.

I just wanted to add a note that the law states that a woman has the right to breastfeed wherever she has the right to be, in some states a woman's God given ability to breastfeed is even further protected. In some even calling a woman obscene for breastfeeding in public is reprehensible. While the laws of Man do not supersede the laws of God, I find it interesting that a nation "under God" should need laws to protect something God ordained.

I see people out there prideful of their "deep" understanding of the Church and It`s teachings. People are loosing their purity and humility. Are you feeding your baby to show people how deep you get the theology of the body concept or are you feeding the baby for the baby.
I like going to different churches. Every parish has its ways of saying or singing, holding hands or not during Lord`s prayer.. I think it is best to blend in and minimize the chances of the slightest distraction of someone`s attention from the Holy Mass.If it has bothered ONLY ONE PERSON as much as they say here it does, Jesus will worry about that attention lost in the whole flock. Don`t be the reason to that. Everyone`s attention counts.
I know as a fact that you can, no matter how differ all babies are, keep a routine and save one single hour for Him. You don`t need to feed the baby every hour at all. Especially when you can pump some milk so easily available nowadays.
Is it your pride of fight against the community at the church because you know better how to live Catholic and they don`t, or is it extremely uncontrollable to not feed right that very hour? If you are a mother so careful as you say you are, then you should also know your baby`s routine and choose a mass accordingly.
I still think it is pride, i am sure you ladies know your babies routines.

Guys,
There are plenty of things in this looooong line of comments to get upset about. But one of them is quite fixable: Let's learn to spell "discreet!"
"Discreet" as in "it is important to be discreet when feeding your baby" is spelled with two e's together.
"Discrete," as in "there were two discrete parts of the story" is spelled with the t in the middle of the e's.

It's two different words, okay?

Thanks.

Well, I had, and have, two choices. I could nurse my children (who now snack and read picture books - oh the horrors) at mass or stay home. My parish does not have a cry room, a toddler room or any place children can be taken when they are rowdy other than an unheated foyer with a stone floor.

What should I do? Stay home? Not bring my children to mass? Or attend and offend people with nursing and toddler behaviors?

I am commenting, not because I have anything new to say, but just to add my voice to the "pro" side.

I am a mom of 5 and am currently nursing. I've always nursed during Mass (and yes, at my husband's boss' house, at the mall while walking around shopping, at a restaurant) and nobody has ever seen more of me than they should have. I have been nursing for 40 months out of the last 5 1/2 years... I would have missed Mass for over 3 years out of 5 1/2 if I didn't nurse my babies during Mass. Does anyone really think God would rather have me missing out on all the graces of the Eucharist when I'm in the most need of grace?

I am kind of wondering what these people are picturing a nursing mother would do. It sounds from the comments that they think a mom would stand up, announce in a loud voice, "I'm about to nurse now!!" take off her blouse, wave her breast around for a couple of minutes, and then latch the baby.

In reality it takes about 1-3 seconds to latch a baby, and if a mom is sitting down in the pew (usually as well surrounded by a kid or two and/or her husband), a person would have to be sitting in front of her and turned completely around in his seat to even catch anything if he WANTED to.

Needless to say, if you have your eyes roving around the church looking at others during Mass, a nursing mom who catches your eye is the least of your problems and you shouldn't be yelling at her when you are obviously just asking to be distracted from Holy Mass.

Hi
Thought I would add my thoughts from my experience as a mother of five children. With my last two babies, I nursed them while at Mass with a baby blanket over my shoulder and around their body, over their head and under their back. I used the blanket whenever I was in the presence of others except my children and husband.
My husband certainly did not want me to expose myself in public so I was very discreet so he would approve of nursing during Mass as well. It happened more than once that a parishoner after Mass would come up and ask to see the baby and I would have to tell the person that the baby was nursing.I found that wrapping or covering a baby in a small blanket was a convenient way of having a little tent ready for when the baby needed to nurse. A shawl works nice as a cover up as well.
Anyway I think if I was a bit more comfortable I would have nursed my older children as babies during Mass as well. My parish now offers a couple rocking chairs for nursing mother or just a place to quiet your baby. They are at the back behind the pews.

"ecological breastfeeding".....

First off it's "breast feeding", two words.

Second, please spare us the making up of foolish words and phrases to make yourself feel special or what you are doing new or different.

The fact is Church is for prayer, not "gatherings", not "meetings", not for people to "do their thing".....

Your "ecological breast feeding" is a pure act of selfishness.

You COULD leave the church, go to another part of the "church building", and breast feed and then return. God would not be disappointed. The Church's Canon acutally gives you dispensation to miss Mass if your duties as a Mother keeps you from attending Mass.

The ONLY thing you are doing is creating an atmosphere that makes it more difficult for people to pray to God.

Rather than acknowledge human nature, the natural curiosity and of young children, especially boys. Trust me, it's not adult men like I that care, we've seen women. We know the beauty of a woman's body, just as we know why MODESTY is considered a VIRTUE. Rather than teach this virtue to children. Rather than through charity and maturity approach the reality and nature of man, you choose to impose your "feelings" on others during a time when they, as your brothers and sisters in Christ, need your support and charity to help draw them closer to Our Lord in prayer.

You seem to care less about the virtue of modesty around young boys or being an example of modesty for young girls. Your actions promote a degradation of the female body by making the act of breast feeding as common as raking the lawn. You destroy the mystery and beauty of the woman by your actions. I'll even take a flyer and bet you wear short skirts and low cut shirts to Mass....

Rather than treat breast feeding as the deeply intimate and beautiful act it is your public, "hear me roar" feminist behavior, reduces and debases the act. In fact if we were to use your logic we could rightly argue sex in the church is "natural" and acceptable. If you dont think so, tell us the difference in conclusion when we apply your rationalization to public sex?

Most sad and offensive of all is that rather than present yourself with reverence and humility before your God, you choose to say "I WANT".

Rather than come before your God with a heart that is in Communion with your fellow Christian brothers and sisters, to support and aid them in their prayer to help them draw more near Our Lord you say "me".

To breast feed during Mass, the church's most solemn prayer, the non-bloody sacrifice of The Cross...you think that breast feeding is God's will during this sacrifice?

That is what you dont see. It's your EGO, your pride, your selfishness that brings you to breast feed before Our Lord while he hangs bleeding on His Cross.

There is absolutely no rational, emotional or spiritual reason to breast feed in church. It's only selfishness.

Unbelieveably ignorant of the bible, the stories and the teachings of Christ and His Church's teachings......

Wonderful article, and bravo.

I just had to add this after I read Joe's post...why is breastfeeding sexualized to the extent that it is? Since when has breastfeeding, public or otherwise, been related to a sexual act? Of course public sex in church would be offensive. I can't think of anyone who would argue this. I think however that it is a sickness of our society that has relagated breastfeeding to a sexual, provocative act. I have no doubt that many young boys may be distracted by the sight of a woman breastfeeding, mainly because it has become so uncommon in the western world. In most of the world it is a very natural and normal action and no one would bat an eye at seeing a woman breastfeeding her baby. Perhaps this is an argument to increase public breastfeeding, and thus normalize the action, rather than segregate it to public washrooms and private homes. As a young mother myself I have found it very difficult to spend time away from home WITHOUT breastfeeding my baby in the first few months of life. New babies need to be fed every few hours. If I followed some of these peoples suggestions I would be spending most of my time at home alone, or I would resort to formula. Sorry, pumping is not as easy as you might imagine. Have some compassion for the young women in your parish and lighten up a little.

Nice article. I know I'm late to comment, but wanted to say it anyway..
I breastfed my daughter in church. I picked my seat carefully and chose my outfit carefully and seriously, no one noticed. They just think you are holding a sleeping baby. Now that she's not breastfeeding is the time that paying attention in church is really hard!! So you might as well enjoy the time peacefully when you can pay attention.. :)

Kate, regarding your reply. Interesting that you dont speak at all to the central point I made, how breast feeding during Mass is by it's nature contrary to the solemnity of the Mass. Regardless, I shall address your defense point by point.

Untitled
August 31st, 2008 | 12:11am

>>I think however that it is a sickness of our society that has relegated breastfeeding to a sexual, provocative act.<<

Mass is not a "society", it is the Prayer of the Church, the Solemn, Bloodless Offering of the Sacrifice of Calvary. That you live in a society that considers MODESTY a VIRTUE, that you can not understand, or disagree, with this society might be an indication that you are the one who is in error here. Or maybe you might consider why modesty is considered a VIRTUE by the teaching of the Church?

>>I have no doubt that many young boys may be distracted by the sight of a woman breastfeeding, mainly because it has become so uncommon in the western world. <<

Right, as I said, you are selfish. You acknowledge that young boys will be distracted from learning and developing a reverence and sense of gravity regarding the Sacrifice of the Mass, and you dont care.

>> In most of the world it is a very natural and normal action and no one would bat an eye at seeing a woman breastfeeding her baby. <<

Of course it is natural and normal, so is shitting. And it's an act that elsewhere takes place in public as a "normal" and "natural" act without causing people to "bat an eye". What you seem to have an issue with is that public breast feeding {btw, again, it's two words} in this country, and most of the western world, is an act which incorporates modesty. Hint, it's a public act in most of the non-western world simply because they are not as fortunate as we to have as an extensive infrastructure; you know, buildings, rooms, etc. etc. Hence privacy and modesty are much more difficult to achieve.

>>Perhaps this is an argument to increase public breastfeeding, and thus normalize the action, rather than segregate it to public washrooms and private homes. <<

No, it's a display of your selfishness and naivety. Your desire to make the world, and the Mass, as you see it should be rather than take that which is truly the Christian path. Namely, assent.

>>As a young mother myself I have found it very difficult to spend time away from home WITHOUT breastfeeding my baby in the first few months of life. <<

I understand that, and so does the Catholic Church. That is why Canon Law is clear regarding the kind of situations that dispensate one from obligation to attend Mass. Caring for children is one.

>>New babies need to be fed every few hours. If I followed some of these peoples suggestions I would be spending most of my time at home alone, or I would resort to formula. <<

Believe it or not, and sit down for this one. Kate, millions of women for hundreds of years, all over the world, were able to do it without needing the changes you say should be made. And they seem to have done it without too much difficulty. Considering what's being balanced here, modesty and your desire to make things easier on yourself I think the answer here is pretty obvious. I think your post was about one thing, you.

>> Have some compassion for the young women in your parish and lighten up a little.<<

Kate, I dont go at the this issue this way with people in person. Only those who brashly in public try to promote and parade how wonderful they are and how wonderful their ideas are.

Again, you are being selfish. And you are mistaken and immature regarding Mass.

Kate, so you dont feel like I am picking on just you. Below is my comment to Steve's "Woe To Them That Are With Child, And That Give Suck "; he too is as lost as you regarding the Mass.

Huh?.....
August 27th, 2008 | 2:10am
The ignorance on this topic is simply one of the best examples of the failure in understanding Vatican II and in the education of the faithful since....

Mass is a solemn PRAYER, as SACRIFICIAL PRAYER, a bloodless but real PASSION of Our Lord on His Cross.

It's not about the good/bad/appropriateness or not of breast feeding.

It's about PARTAKING in this prayer to Our Lord's PASSION on His Cross in Honor, Glory, Reverence, and Solemnity!

Breast feeding DETRACTS and DEFAMES the consecration and is contrary to the very purpose of the Mass. The woman can take the child to an appropriate place to feed her child.

That a priest says to keep the child, except in extreme cases of distraction, is only more evidence of the Smoke of Satan which has so infected the pride of the priesthood....

Amazing, simply amazing how so many Catholics have become so selfish that they are more concerned about supporting a woman breast feeding than supporting everything to make the Mass, our HIGHEST form of prayer a MORE PERFECT GIFT to God.

Selfishness, selfishness, selfishness...

Joe and others,


You have an incomplete understanding of the theology of the mass. The liturgy (for those of us who are Eastern Rite) and the Mass (for those of us who are Latin Rite)- is a Celebration and a sacrifice. We remember the entire Paschal Mystery. The crux is that through the death and resurrection of Christ- the giving of himself- we have been redeemed and also called to participate in redemption- in the mystery of Christ.

We are compelled to give of ourselves, just as Christ gave of himself. From pain and sorrow and grief, come joy and happiness. Spouses are called to give of themselves to each other, parents are called to give of themselves to their children.

A breastfeeding mother is NOT being selfish-she is feeding her child in the manner intended by God. I think rather that the observer is being selfish and self centered- thinking of themselves, rather than acknowledging the needs of a child. An infant can not exhibit or practice the virtue of self-control. They are far more innocent than any adult in church- and to deprive them would be the same as depriving Christ himself-

"I was thirsty and you did not give me drink" "I was hungry and you would not give me food"

You - and the others who are only thinking of themselves and their own misplaced sensibilities would DARE place themselves on the receiving end of the judgement of Christ? because of denying a helpless baby food and drink?

Christ did not say you should only give food, drink, shelter, clothing etc at certain times and in certain places.

Sustanance and enlightenment of any kind- spiritual, physical, emotional is given and allowed by God when and where it is needed. Even in the belly of a whale or in a Jewish Temple

Remember the self-righteous Pharisees?

Nancy, CNM
Mom to 11 beautiful breastfed children
Grandmother to 4 beautiful breastfed children...and hopefully many more!

Nancy,

I do not have an incomplete understanding of the "theology" of the mass.


There are multiple intellectual and moral problems with your thinking/perspective, it's your choice to take the following personally or try to see them as they are.

First, I never said breast feeding was selfish. What I said was it's selfish to put one's feelings ahead of others and ahead of the Mass.

Second, the innocence of the child or their need for nourishment was never questioned by me or what I recall others. The fact is the child can be fed outside of Mass, literally. The fact the Church holds one does not incur sin when they miss Mass for an obligation to care for a person should give you pause regarding the appropriateness and correct understanding of this topic.

The fundamental problem as I see it is the "incomplete understanding" that you and many others have regarding The Mass and the role of its participants.

One of the fundamental problems of Norvus Ordo Mass is the "orientation" of the priest and people.

The image I think would help you and many others understand the problem is this.

When the priest holds up the bread in consecration, close your eyes and imagine the priest standing beneath the Crucifix with Christ upon His Cross.

The Tridentine Mass had it right, the proper "orientation" of the priest and the people are facing Christ. Not each other.

All your "arguments", and of the others, supporting the appropriateness of breast feeding during Mass are self-centered arguments about yourselves. None are about participating in Christ's sacrifice or participating in the prayer that is The Mass. And hence all are selfish.

A.M.D.G.

I'm laughing really hard (well, not aloud, so as not the wake the three-week old sleeping on my chest in his sling) at the idea of "scheduling" a feeding around Mass. My child has been to Sunday Mass since he was five days old, and when I'm off of the doctor-ordered pelvic rest and can drive, he'll be in Mass every day. Whether or not Mass falls during the time that he is hungry is not up to me, but what IS up to me is making sure that he grows up knowing Christ and loving the Mass. In my family, that means making sure he's exposed to the Mass as often as possible.

Mass is *the* most appropriate place to nurse. Nursing is, after all, symbolic of the Church nourishing us with Her sacraments. As women, mothers are called to image the Church at all times. For the same reason that a woman ought to cover her head during Mass (imaging the Church, the Bride), she ought to nourish her babies from her very body, the way God intended it. It cannot be a coincidence that God designed our bodies to do this and also gave us a Savior who would feed us from His own body.

If a nursing mother's intention is in immodesty or to act as an occasion of sin to the men around her, she certainly has that on her conscience. But I'm almost positive that most nursing mothers' intentions couldn't be further from that--their intention is only to feed and comfort their babies.

p.s. I'm sure impressed with all of you who've successfully mastered this blanket-over-the-shoulder technique as well as anyone who's managed to figure out how to nurse in a sling. I'm guessing once baby Dominic has more head control and is better acclimated to life outside the womb, this will be possible, but for now, he frantically roots and knocks the blanket off, refusing to latch on until he can make eye contact with me. I have to wait until after he latches on to cover his little head, and even then, he usually drowns at let-down and pulls off.

p.p.s. Our parish, thankfully, does not have a cry room.

Thanks for the article. :-) I am a nursing mother, and have fed my son just about everywhere, including Mass. I would try to get him to eat before Mass, to no avail - he will not eat unless it's his idea. When he was little, he would nurse every hour some times, and so there was no getting around it. There isn't anywhere else in my parish to go that wouldn't be exposed to the elements or disturb both the Mass and the children's liturgy (I'll leave my opinions on separating children from the Mass for another time). If I couldn't breastfeed at Mass at all, I wouldn't be able to take my son to Mass with me, and that is not an option, IMHO. I definitely feel that the entire family should be able to go to Mass as a family whenever possible.

So I sit off to the side, away from others as much as possible. I wear a camisole under a loose sweater, so absolutely nothing shows, and most people think my son is simply sleeping. When he was really little I could get away with a blanket over him, but once he got big enough to pull it away, that became less modest than layering. I certainly don't feed him in Mass because I feel it's about me, but only in order to meet his needs.

One last thing, but I think L Broussard put all this very well.

God bless.

My wife nurses our toddler during Mass. Our child it 26 months old, my wife nurses despite my objection with the usual line "it is healthy for our child, and i will do it anywhere I want" - I find this disrespectful to my comfort level, and a possible annoyance to people around us in church. It isn't like our child is 4 months old or anything.
Any opinions on this?

Hi Kate,

I love your article! I breastfed all of my five children into their toddlerhood. I speak about breastfeeding and ecological breastfeeding in my two newest books: Grace Cafe: Serving up Recipes for Faithful Mothering and The Domestic Church: Room by Room: A Mother's Study Guide. I think you'd like them both.

God bless you and your beautiful family!

Donna-Marie

Joel 2:16

"Gather the people, consecrate the assembly; bring together the elders, gather the children, those nursing at the breast [...]"

Yep, nursing in public = okay by God.

It's most likely that Jesus Himself--God in the flesh--was nursed by the Blessed Mother until age 4 or 5. Everywhere.

I hope that makes you more comfortable! :)