November 20, 2009
 
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| The Speech Hillary Longed to Give |
| by Mark P. Shea |
| 8/27/08 |
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Scene: The Democratic Convention. Denver, August 26, 2008. HILLARY CLINTON motions her hand to speak.
FIRST CITIZEN.
Stay, ho! and let us hear Hillary.
THIRD CITIZEN.
Let her go up into the public chair;
We'll hear her. -- Noble Hillary, go up.
HILLARY.
For Obama's sake, I am beholding to you.
[Goes up, clad in a modest orange pantsuit.]
FOURTH CITIZEN.
What does she say of Obama?
THIRD CITIZEN.
She says, for Obama's sake,
She finds herself beholding to us all.
FOURTH CITIZEN.
'Twere best she speak no harm of Obama here.
FIRST CITIZEN.
These Clintons were tyrants.
THIRD CITIZEN.
Nay, that's certain:
We are blest that the Party is rid of them.
SECOND CITIZEN.
Peace! Let us hear what Hillary can say.
HILLARY.
You gentle Democrats, --
CITIZENS.
Peace, ho! Let us hear her.
HILLARY.
Friends, Democrats, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury the Clinton Name, not to praise it.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones:
So let it be with the Clintons. The noble Obama
Hath told you the Clintons were ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault;
And grievously have we answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Obama and the rest, --
For Obama is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honorable men, --
Come I to speak in my campaign's funeral.
We were your friends, faithful and just to you:
But Obama says we were ambitious;
And Obama is an honorable man.
We have brought much prosperity to America,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in the Clintons seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Clintons have wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Obama says we were ambitious;
And Obama is an honorable man.
You all did see that on the Mainstream Media
I thrice presented my philandering husband support,
Which he did thrice accept: was this ambition?
Yet Obama says I am ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honorable man.
I speak not to disprove what Obama spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love us once, -- not without cause:
What cause withholds you, then, to mourn for us? --
O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason! -- Bear with me;
My career is in the coffin there with the Clinton Legacy,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
FIRST CITIZEN.
Methinks there is much reason in her sayings.
SECOND CITIZEN.
If thou consider rightly of the matter,
The Clintons have had great wrong.
THIRD CITIZEN.
Have they not, masters?
I fear there will a worse come in their place.
FOURTH CITIZEN.
Mark'd ye her words? She did abase herself for Bill;
Therefore 'tis certain she was not ambitious.
FIRST CITIZEN.
If it be found so, some will dear abide it.
SECOND CITIZEN.
Poor soul! Her eyes are red as fire with weeping.
THIRD CITIZEN.
There's not a nobler woman in Denver than Hillary.
FOURTH CITIZEN.
Now mark her; she begins again to speak.
HILLARY.
But yesterday the word of Clinton might
Have stood against the world: now lies our legacy there,
And none so poor to do us reverence.
O masters, if I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
I should do Obama wrong and the DNC wrong,
Who, you all know, are honorable men:
I will not do them wrong; I rather choose
To wrong the dead, to wrong myself, and you,
Than I will wrong such honorable men.
But here's a parchment with the seal of Clinton, --
I found it in a closet, in a box marked Rose Law Firm, -- 'tis our campaign promises:
Let but the commons hear this testament, --
Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read, --
FOURTH CITIZEN.
We'll hear the campaign promises: read them, Hillary.
CITIZENS.
The campaign promises, the campaign promises! We will hear the Clintons' campaign promises.
HILLARY.
Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read them;
It is not meet you know how the Clintons loved you.
You are not wood, you are not stones, but men;
And, being men, hearing the campaign promises of the Clintons,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad.
'Tis good you know not that you are our heirs;
For if you should, O, what would come of it!
FOURTH CITIZEN.
Read the campaign promises! We'll hear them, Hillary;
You shall read us the campaign promises, -- the Clintons' campaign promises!
HILLARY.
Will you be patient? Will you stay awhile?
I have o'ershot myself to tell you of it:
I fear I wrong the honorable men
Whose daggers have stabb'd my campaign; I do fear it.
FOURTH CITIZEN.
They were traitors: honorable men!
CITIZENS.
The campaign promises!
SECOND CITIZEN.
They were villains, murderers. The campaign promises! Read the campaign promises!
HILLARY.
You will compel me, then, to read the campaign promises?
Then make a ring about the corpse of my campaign,
And let me show you us who made the campaign promises.
Shall I descend? And will you give me leave?
CITIZENS.
Come down.
SECOND CITIZEN.
Descend.
[She comes down.]
THIRD CITIZEN.
You shall have leave.
FOURTH CITIZEN.
A ring! Stand round.
SECOND CITIZEN.
Room for Hillary! -- Most noble Hillary!
HILLARY.
If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
[She removes her blazer and reveals another layer of clothes beneath it, full of slashes and stage blood]
You all do know this pantsuit: I remember
The first time ever I put it on;
'Twas on a Winter's evening, in D.C.,
That day Bill was overcome by the Lewinskii.
Look, in this place ran Kennedy's dagger through:
See what a rent the envious Toni Morrison made:
Through this the well-beloved Obama stabb'd;
And as he pluck'd his cursed steel away,
Mark how the blood of Hillary follow'd it, --
As rushing out of doors, to be resolved
If Obama so unkindly knock'd, or no;
For Obama, as you know, was our angel:
Judge, O you gods, how dearly we loved him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when we noble Clintons saw him steal the nomination,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors' arms,
Quite vanquish'd us: then burst our mighty heart;
Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us.
O, now you weep; and, I perceive, you feel
The dint of pity: these are gracious drops.
FIRST CITIZEN.
O piteous spectacle!
SECOND CITIZEN.
O noble Hillary!
THIRD CITIZEN.
O woeful day!
FOURTH CITIZEN.
O traitors, villains!
FIRST CITIZEN.
O most bloody sight!
SECOND CITIZEN.
We will be revenged.
CITIZENS.
Revenge, -- about, -- seek, -- burn, -- fire, -- kill, -- slay, -- let not a
traitor live!
HILLARY.
Stay, countrymen.
FIRST CITIZEN.
Peace there! Hear the noble Hillary.
SECOND CITIZEN.
We'll hear her, we'll follow her, we'll die with her.
HILLARY.
Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up
To such a sudden flood of mutiny.
They that have done this deed are honorable:
What private griefs they have, alas, I know not,
That made them do it; they're wise and honorable,
And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
I am no orator, as Obama is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt woman,
That love my husband Bill; and that they know full well
That gave me public leave to speak of us:
For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,
Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,
To stir men's blood: I only speak right on;
I tell you that which you yourselves do know;
Show you sweet Clinton's wounds, poor dumb mouths,
And bid them speak for me: but were I Obama,
And Obama Hillary, there were a Hillary
Would ruffle up your spirits, and put a tongue
In every wound of the Clintons, that should move
The stones of Denver to rise and mutiny.
CITIZENS.
We'll mutiny.
FIRST CITIZEN.
We'll burn the house of Obama!
THIRD CITIZEN.
Away, then! Come, seek the conspirators!
HILLARY.
Yet hear me, countrymen; yet hear me speak.
CITIZENS.
Peace, ho! Hear Hillary; most noble Hillary!
HILLARY.
Why, friends, you go to do you know not what.
Wherein hath Clinton thus deserved your loves?
Alas, you know not; I must tell you then:
You have forgot the campaign promises I told you of.
CITIZENS.
Most true; the campaign promises! -- Let's stay, and hear the campaign promises.
HILLARY.
Here are the campaign promises, and under the Clintons' seal.
To every American citizen he gives,
To every several man, free health care.
SECOND CITIZEN.
Most noble Hillary! -- We'll revenge her campaign.
THIRD CITIZEN.
O, royal Hillary!
HILLARY.
Hear me with patience.
CITIZENS.
Peace, ho!
HILLARY.
Moreover, we would have left you all our environmental regulations,
A thriving economy, Baby Boomers back at the Center of History where we belong,
A first Husband women fantasize about: not some cool egghead,
Unrestricted abortion; the vindication of years of feminist rage,
A return to the glory days of the '90s and a free pony for all!
Here was a Ruling Dynasty! When comes such another?
FIRST CITIZEN.
Never, never!
SECOND CITIZEN.
Go, fetch fire.
THIRD CITIZEN.
Pluck down benches.
FOURTH CITIZEN.
Pluck down forms, windows, any thing.
[Exeunt Citizens, with torches, to go burn down Denver.]
HILLARY.
Now let it work. -- Mischief, thou art afoot,
Take thou what course thou wilt!
Mark P. Shea is a senior editor at www.CatholicExchange.com and a columnist for InsideCatholic.com. Visit his blog at www.markshea.blogspot.com. Image: Rick Wilking/Reuters Readers have left 16 comments. Shakespeare is timeless, ageless and so cuttingly accurate. Methinks this well may be how speaks Bill Clinton this night in Denver. Mischief may well be afoot. ![[smiley=think]](http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/components/com_jreactions/custom/templates/blog/smileys/smiley_think.gif) Mark, will you be coming to The Dinner in support of our brothers and sisters from afar? Written by Teri A guy as fat as me is always up for a meal, but I don't know what you mean. What brothers and sisters? Written by Mark Shea Brilliant wonderful humor, Mark! Hillary obviously ignored the warning signs: Yond Obama has a lean and hungry look; He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.  Written by Fr. Phil Bloom It's Sept 19, Willard Hotel, 1401 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC, 6 PM. Its called the "Partnership Dinner" and it's six incredible gourmet dinner courses, wine, speeches that never disappoint, and a lovely crystal flame-shaped award to the recipient approx, 12 inches tall. Past year's recipients and honorees would inspire your heart. I can tell you more if you want me to. Reservations and details for dinner can be gotten from contacting Zoe at (401)685-6944 or Agnes at (202)367-8001. There may still be rooms at the Willard Intercontinental at a low rate available under the block of rooms set aside for the Morley Partnership Dinner, aka InsideCatholic.com, Dinner. This year it goes to Cardinal Delly of Baghdad, a Chaldean by Rite, who has done so much to provide sustenance of all kinds to Iraqi Christians who are targeted for persecution by those who do such things. He will be there, no small feat. We will also memorialize Cardinal Archbishop Rahno of Bagdad who was kidnapped and killed earlier this year because he wouldn't pay the Dhimmie Tax to be "protected" by the Muslims. Note the banner ad to this dinner on the InsideCatholic.com Home Page to support our brothers and sister in Christ from Iraq. It gives more details. I hope to see you and finally meet you there! Written by Teri Mark, I just gave you the wrong contact information for reservations to The Dinner. Go to the banner ad as you scroll up the side of this article. click on the link "Support Insidecatholic.com and Help Iraqi Christians." It will take you where you want to be for dinner reservations and possible hotel reservations. Seating is limited so you need to move fast. Most of the rooms are filled 2 weeks in advance. I know we need to spread the word to expedite and highlight the need of Iraqi Christians as well as Christians all over the region for inalienable human rights and religious liberty. If we have it here, we can have it anywhere the Holy See can reach. Rahno to so many others have not died in vain. My son does not fight as a US Marine in vain. My other son still in High School doesn't consider joining the fight alongside his brother in vain. Please come to dinner to support good and brave men who have no choice but to be faithful in love. Written by Teri Mr Shea Cant you be serious? Is the best you can offer to us? Do you agree with Obama and the left wing who promote death of the unborn or will at least promote the lesser of two evils in McCain? Your blog is full of hate Bush Iraq War rhetoric so we have no idea where you stand, sort of like the church after Vatican II which you adore and seems to not be able to take a stance on anything including that great organization in USCCB who actually cant come to a majority in denying our Lord, who died on the cross, from pro death so called Catholic politicians Keep racking up your credit card donations you request on your blog Mr Shea while us real Traditionalists will continue our Rosary each and every weekend in front of the abortion clinic praying for this to stop, hoping for a few "turn arounds" while you go on your Cruise with Amy Welborne and Jimmy Akin collecting your dollars, we will do the real work, us "disgruntled" trads and save some lives of the unborn Written by John Teri: Thanks for the invite. However, I live in Washington State, not DC and (despite John's fantasies) just get by on a lower middle class income. So flights cross country ain't in the budget, much less benefit dinners. John: I don't see what's so mysterious about my politics. I reject intrinsically grave evil whether it is proposed by Republicans or Democrats. I criticize the Bushies for involving us in a war of choice that did not meet Just War criteria and, most especially, for turning the US into a country guilty of war crimes in the use of torture. I reject Obama because he is an enthusiast for abortion and infanticide. I do what I can to help out the prolife movement with my writing. I've also done my bit in public protests as my dear friend Fr. Phil Bloom, above, will tell you. (By the way, Fr. Phil offers the TLM here in Seattle: a great guy!) I'm grateful that you do what you can too, John. It would be good if you could continue to do it without assuming that those about whom you know nothing are not measuring up. It kinda looks nasty and judgmental. Oh, and I've (sadly) only met Amy once and it wasn't on a cruise. I did have a fine time on the recent Catholic Answers cruise up to Alaska. It was good to re-connect with Jimmy, whom I seldom see. They don't pay you, and it's basically a working vacation, but I certainly can't complain. Do you ever take a vacation or do anything fun, John? Is that a sin? If not, then why speak as though the blessing God gave my wife and me was? I figure that, given my regular regime of 12 hour days trying to keep bread on the table for three boys and a roof over our little 3 bed 1 bath cinder block house, we should get to do something fun now and then. Written by Mark Shea God bless you, Mark. Discretionary fun-- been there, done that, not so long ago - 2 yrs ago actually. Its amazing how much money you have when the nest empties. No money spent for shoes, clothes, dates, fun and sports, education, groceries (Phelps from the Olympics just illuminated that I wasn't alone), school supplies and apt expense to get the kids on their feet. I spend $$$ just because the kids visit and might need something. They don't even ask -- I have to prompt them to identify a "might need." Hang on for 15 yrs or so; you'll be here. It is remarkable how I had to ask my son if I could get him some new tires, oil change, tank of gas. He declined, until Christmas. I asked my mobile son if I could entertain his meager and short hours with a Kindle, or a plane ticket too. I am still waiting for the answer. He took the plane ticket via award miles, thanks be. I'll miss you at dinner. My "Children expense" dollars will, in part, go to Patriarch Delly. No tax benefits anymore, but okay with my heart. Such are the benefits of time and planning. Written by Teri Never been on a cruise. Infectious single cell germs, multi cell bacteria, viruses and paracites and motion sickness bother me. I'd rather run a power planer up my shins with 2000 of my closest, actually only, within hundreds of miles, companions; come to think of it I'd be right at home. Maybe I ought to embark soon. 'Course, on second thought, maybe I'll send out my daughter instead and take care of the grands for her. Now THAT sounds like lots more fun! Buon fortuna, Marco! Written by Teri Teri: Thanks. I've got no complaints. Our guys are a blessing and the oldest has married a wonderful woman. Now they are at the scrimping stage of life, but having a ball. We're all off to Lopez Island up in the San Juans this weekend for a campout. Very healing for the soul! Anyway, have fun at the Dinner! If you have decide to have some Big Do in Seattle, I'll happily come! Written by Mark Shea Mr Shea Such a poor soul you are here as a guest as compared to your own blog where you delete any post that does not agree with your own thought or your ego. When you tell me that you do not do any of your Catholic blogging, writing, etc-for money, then I shall believe you Written by John So, you're seriously proposing a) that no lay Catholic writer should be paid for the fruit of his labor b) any lay Catholic writer who supports himself on his writing is wicked and corrupt, and c) people go into Catholic writing do so to get rich? You should really think about your reply to those questions because, well, there's quite a few Catholic writers reading this and the gales of laughter you will get if you answer yes to any of these questions (but especially the last one) might deafen you. I make no apologies for banning abusive people like you from my blog. I don't owe anybody a forum. If they want to abuse people, they can start their own blog. I run a benevolent dictatorship. I've made this clear many times on my blog. It's no secret. Written by Mark Shea Mark You are a bully who if you were truly "Catholic" would indeed allow those who disagree with you a forum, and if you were truly Apostolic-would show my the errors of my way Obviously you cant and only want your little lemmings as I see you have the same people posting over and over and over again Abusive is in the eyes of the beholder, and anyone who disagrees with you I guess is abusive When you stop writing about aliens and your journeys and where you are this time in your travels (you must get paid pretty well as you seem to be all over and travel costs a lot of money!),and maybe be a true Apostle instead of someone who has no training in seminary or theology as your self but somehow sells your self as some canon lawyer as Jimmy Akin does You are doing so much harm as there are actually those that look to you as some sort of voice in what is right and wrong and just like the ordained, their souls are on your conscience and you will be judged accordingly Written by John Enough with the name calling. If you want to interact with the article, then do so. But this isn't a forum to air unrelated grievances. Written by Brian Saint-Paul In the words of Tolkien; "The Shadow cannot create, it can only mock". Written by ciaran That was so much fun Mark Shea. Thanks for the giggles. ![[smiley=laugh]](http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/components/com_jreactions/custom/templates/blog/smileys/smiley_laugh.gif) Written by Carol |
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