November 20, 2009
 
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| Anybody Need a Used Laetare Medal? |
| by John Zmirak |
| 4/29/09 |
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As years go, 2009 so far hasn't been one for the ages. Our economic crisis continues to worsen (my 401ks have tanked so badly I'm thinking of putting what's left of my retirement money into Chinese armament futures), while our government's response consists of borrowing money to fund bankruptcy as usual. In Iowa, gay marriage is being stuffed down citizens' throats by judicial elites -- while across New England, voters are embracing it voluntarily. American guns are flooding south to Mexican drug cartels, fueling the near-civil war in that country -- and offering our politicians new excuses to disarm U.S. citizens. In the midst of massive unemployment and crushing deficits, the president is pushing amnesty for illegal aliens. Swine flu is killing hundreds in Mexico, and spreading through the world (it hit the high school of my best friend's son in Queens; he just left the hospital). Dirty Old Man of the Senate Arlen Specter just joined the Democrats, giving the Party of Death a filibuster-proof majority. Now that we live in a one-party state, we might as well go the whole hog and acclaim Obama President-for-Life. We can buy him one of those leopard-skin caps and blame all our problems on British colonialism.
Reunion with the Lefebvrites may have been scotched by a single bishop's crackpot theories, while the Legionaries of Christ continue the slow bleed of credibility and cash. The head of the German bishops conference is propounding a heretical theory of salvation. Mel Gibson is getting divorced. Newt Gingrich just entered the Church. (I know about "Here comes everybody," but really, folks. Why couldn't he wait until his deathbed, like Oscar Wilde?)
Amidst such Chinese water-torture temptations to despair, I'm ready to grasp at straws. In fact, I've reached the point where I start making lists of awful things that actually haven't happened -- by way of keeping up my spirits. Indeed, like every beautiful spring day unspoiled by plagues of frogs, each one is an opportunity to practice the virtue of gratitude. So this week, I'd like to thank God and His Providence that:
In fact, this last item is more than just a straw. It's good pretext for a party, one which I wish I could throw over in Rome -- and invite Ambassador Glendon's gifted and gorgeous daughter, Elizabeth Lev. Miss Lev works there as a journalist and teacher, and conducted me and the students of Thomas More College on a tour of the Sistine Chapel that would have done Pope Sixtus proud. I didn't get to meet Ambassador Glendon, although I'd see her sometimes at the lovely, battered Borromini Church of San Giovanni di Fiorentini, at the Sunday afternoon English Mass said by the forthright Rev. Thomas Williams, L.C. I didn't want to bug her, but having read Glendon for years in places like First Things, I was a trifle starstruck. And now, having read the ambassador's principled, eloquent letter to Rev. John Jenkins of Notre Dame, I'm ready to replace the bumper sticker on my car -- covering "Arm the Unborn to Guard the Border" with "Mary Ann Glendon for President."
If you haven't seen Glendon's letter, stop reading this drivel immediately and click over to it, if only to see some proof in black and white that some American Catholics who operate in elite circles (she teaches at Harvard) aren't willing to trade their souls for a mess of Irish-American steelcut oatmeal. Glendon explains in her letter that she was disturbed by the school's decision to award an honorary doctorate to a president who flouted the Church's teaching on an essential moral matter -- and even gently pointed out to the poor soul fronting for Notre Dame's board of trustees that the U.S. bishops have explicitly forbidden the awarding of such degrees to men with views like Mr. Obama's. Now, Glendon is too much the lady to make this explicit, but one could read between the lines: If you can't even hold to the standard agreed-upon by a commission of U.S. bishops, you're probably in trouble.
Notre Dame's craven hunger for secular esteem is hardly unique in American Catholic history. Think how giddy with joy we were when the skirt-chasing son of a bootlegging Nazi appeaser won the election in 1960 on the votes of dead Chicagoans. From the grubby, roughnecked immigrant families of eight or nine Vinnies and Patricks who'd filled the ethnic parishes and pickle factories, we'd finally made our way into the "mainstream," to join the lapsing members of the old American elite -- whose Protestant faith and natural virtues were even then dribbling down their pants leg like John Cheever's spilled seventh martini. We've arrived. There goes the neighborhood.
Now Glendon's principled decision leaves Notre Dame in a pickle. They've got this Laetare Medal to hand out, and nobody to accept it. The award is nothing to sneeze at; in the past it has gone to some pretty shining stars: the last great Catholic novelist we know of, Walker Percy. Jazz genius and latecoming composer of classical Catholic liturgical music Dave Brubeck. Clare Booth Luce. I'd quibble with some of the choices in other years, although they have never been disgraceful. Irish tenor John McCormack, actor Martin Sheen (who dropped the surname "Estevez" in honor of Archbishop Fulton Sheen). I can even choke down Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Joseph Cardinal Bernadin, and Dorothy Day. (Here comes everybody . . .)
But who will take the prize this year -- the sweaty, used medal boxed up for Ambassador Glendon, on which she had to write in her gracious hand "Delivery Refused"? Its sheen will surely be Martined by the fact that whoever gets it is clearly the runner-up. What's more, accepting what Glendon refused can only be seen as an endorsement of Notre Dame's decision to honor the president, in defiance of the bishops and the Fifth Commandment. That is, if the person who accepts is reputable and respected . . .
Now I wouldn't want that to happen. I can't think offhand of a decent Catholic who'd accept the award this year, on the same stage as Obama. So instead, let me suggest a faintly dodgy, vaguely ridiculous character who's still recognizably Catholic, but who makes no pretense of serving as an example to anyone for anything.
Yeah, I'm willing to take it.
It would mean flying to Indiana, and probably force me to miss my own school's commencement (instead of Obama, we're honoring Francis Cardinal Arinze), but given the resume value of a Laetare, it's probably worth burning a free Southwest ticket -- as long as they put me up in a decent hotel. I could drop by the office of pioneering neo-Classical architect Duncan Stroik, and visit one of the state's proliferating Lincoln museums. I'd get to meet the president, and all -- the man whose finger rests on the world's largest nuclear button. That's pretty cool.
I think, with my only accomplishments being two volumes in a series of "Bad Catholic's" guides and a third still underway, that my presence wouldn't send a scandalous message. In fact, as I stood there in my second-hand suit accepting a second-hand medal, perhaps the college choir could belt out "Second Hand Rose" instead of "Pomp and Circumstance." I'd palm the medal, make a few remarks that treated the president with the respect he is rightly due. ("Americans, do you want Change?" I'd say. "Start with your underwear.") Then I'd pocket the prize and head straight for the airport. Then TSA employees would find the thing in my pants and spend an hour doing a strip search. But at least I wouldn't end up in Guantanamo. Some things really have Changed.
John Zmirak is the author, most recently, of the graphic novel The Grand Inquisitor and is Writer-in-Residence at Thomas More College in New Hampshire. He writes weekly for InsideCatholic.com. Readers have left 25 comments. I couldn't choke down Daniel Patrick Moynihan. I could choke down Cardinal Bernardin, because he wasn't publicly pro-abortion (provided you were dumb enough not to see that the "Seamless Garment" was the greatest gift any Catholic bishop ever gave the abortionists). But Daniel Patrick Moynihan? The fact that Notre Dame honored Moynihan years ago simply shows that the university has been pro-abortion for decades--as anyone knows who remembers Fr. Hesburgh's cozy relationship with the Eugenics Movement and its money starting nearly sixty years ago. Written by Fr Joseph oH THANK you Dr. Zmirak for stepping up to accept the Laetere Medal. Once you get through security, which I think you will if you don't sneer at TSA, let me know when you post it on Ebay. I want to bid. If I win, I promise to send it to Professor Mary Ann Glendon, with a note "from the worthy Dr. Zmirak." And, while you are on stage, please tell President Obama "hi" from me. ... great piece here. I do not always appreciate your cynical style, but, this time, it provided much needed laughter. The times, they are a'troubling ... Written by Marjorie Campbell Margaret, Do you know what they say about cynicism? (this is one of my all-time favorite lines, by the way) Cynicism: Merely the Romantic's condom. Thanks, Dr. Zmirak, for a good laugh on Friday (well, it's my "Friday" anyway). Kamilla  Written by Kamilla Your generous offer is so close to scapegoating that I feel keenly the need to propose an alternative that this cup might pass from your lips. Perhaps one of the compliant and innumerable Kennedys could be found willing, even anxious to accept the tarnished Medal. Then maybe the family would donate funds from the grand-(grand, grand)-sire's ill gotten fortune to provide obviously needed football scholarships -- or even to endow the highly sought after Obama Chair of Sociology & Ethics. Since it has provided such great cover to aborto-politicians, nothing is too good for ND. Written by Robert Mosby It is indeed very humble of you to step up and accept the award, Mr. Zmirak. I would take it myself, but I'll be busy getting drunk at a distant relative's graduation party, if I can finagle an invitation. And if they put a giant drape over Touchdown Jesus, be sure to get a picture taken in front of it with yourself and the President for posterity. Should be a memorable moment. Best of luck, and allow me to offer a premature congratulations, as you are clearly the rightful winner of this Laetere regardless of Notre Dame's final decision. Written by August Driscoll A tip of the hat to Prof. Mary Ann Glendon for refusing the Laetare Medal from Notre Dame. She has spoken out loud and clear for what is right. Good for her. I am old enough to remember when John F. Kennedy was running for President in 1960, a Baptist Minister warned his flock that since Kennedy was such a devout Catholic, he would being the Pope to Washington DC to help him govern the US. In retrospect, it is very amusing to think of Protestants worrying about JFK being such a "Devout Catholic" that he would import the Pope to help him govern. Perhaps all that skirt chasing was just to reassure the Protestants that he was not so devout? Written by Austin My thanks too, John, for a bright spot in the day. Not much seems encouraging, as you point out, these days. In this case, some of the comments were just as entertaining as the column! Written by Mary Anne Dear Mr Zmirak, I liked the line about the underwear as the beginning of your acceptance speech. Might I suggest a continuation: "Welcome one and all to this great and formerly Catholic University. Since we seem to be dispensing with unnecessary principles in handing out honorary degrees, and elevating social justice issues above mere life issues, might I suggest a few future recipients for the honorary law degree. Kathleen Sibelius and Nancy Pelosi come to mind, and if posthumous awards are OK, possibly Che Guevara or Vladimir Lenin. Talk about some engineers for social change! And I like the bishop's suggestion that we change the name of the school to "Fightin' Irish University".....oops, I forgot, we don't take bishop's suggestions. Thanks for the medal!" Written by Bill "...read between the lines: If you can't even hold to the standard agreed-upon by a commission of U.S. bishops, you're probably in trouble." You're probably right regarding the state of Notre Dame U. I know you're on target regarding 401Ks and the economy. John, thanks (again) for a humorous and insightful observation of the times. ![[smiley=wink]](http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/components/com_jreactions/custom/templates/blog/smileys/smiley_wink.gif) Esmeralda Pearl Written by Esmeralda Pearl Just remember the end: WE WIN!!! Written by Gigi Marjorie, I am sorry - I intended part of my response above to be addressed to you. Kamilla Written by Kamilla Thanks, John, for the biggest belly laugh I have had in a long time!! Written by kathy Fun post, fun comments. Cynicism: Merely the Romantic's condom. — SomeoneAs an on fire romantic, sarcastic humor has been more of an aphrodisiac! Written by Anonymouse I take great exception to your lie. We, in Canada, do not know what bluebonic plague is. Our color is red like the commy star. Written by Mike Enjoyed it very much John. And I did what you said and stopped reading your drivel to get to the actual letter of Ambassador Glendon. Thanks for that. Tell me, though, what is the problem with Dorothy Day? I have been reading her autobiography and feel unworthy to call myself a Christian next to her. Written by Susie Lloyd Dear Susie, Well, I can't quite give you a full answer, since I found D.D.'s book so unpleasant I couldn't get through it. But what I have read of her, and seen of her movement, makes me queasy. To put it briefly, she seems to me the mirror image of Ayn Rand, and equally insufferable. I'm planning to slog through her book in pursuit of an article about her and Rand. It strikes me that she didn't love the poor so much as poverty, and that her objections to the market economy were precisely that it produced wealth and middle-class comfort, which she seemed to detest. I'm reminded of Christopher Dawson's profoundly mistaken essay on Catholicism and the Bourgeois Ethic, and Amitore Fanfani's equally off-putting book on Catholicism, Protestantism, and Capitalism. I'm reminded of the Spiritual Franciscans, and all those who hold up ordinary Christians to monastic standards--goading them in the short run perhaps to heroism, and in the long run to despair or cynicism. In general, any AUTObiography that makes me "feel unworthy to call myself a Christian" compared to the AUTHOR makes me deeply suspicious. Any religious movement which becomes almost 100% heretical in the lifetime of its founder was probably built on sand. But again, I'll have to goad myself to finish her book, with the promised reward of the essay: "The Two Insufferables: Ayn Rand and Dorothy Day." Stay tuned.... Written by John Zmirak Dorothy Day ceased to be a Communist and became a Catholic. She seems not to have cared whether any of her followers did. Pro-lifers at Catholic Worker houses are as scarce as pro-lifers at the USCCB. Written by Fr. Joseph I was wondering if Secret Service agents will confiscate the dangerous rosaries from the students and visitors to the Dear Leader's speechification at South Bent? Written by Charles Miller Mr. Zmirak, Please...Keep writing! I love your work. Written by Mary Hi John, Day's autobiography (The Long Loneliness) starts with confessional imagery. A confessional is a place where we tell our sins, not brag about ourselves. Her book does not brag or seek to uphold her as an example of true Catholicity. In fact, it gets heavy on the details of the history of the labor movement. She seeks to tell what happened in a time and at places that were pivotal in our nation's history. I gained a lot of respect for her reading it. She was a child who was not given the faith, but always had an enviable attraction for it. When she found the pearl of great price she left the man she loved so she could give her daughter Baptism. I disagree that she loved poverty more than the poor. She lived amongst the poor - and was poor - and established farms for slum dwellers to live on, where they could live healthier lives. As for the Catholic Worker movement. It spread very quickly to the wide world. There was little control from its founder. For example, there were several Catholic Worker magazines in cities around the world. Each of these was independent. There was not just one magazine translated into various languages. So there was no control from Day over what was in these magazines. Also, she did associate with communists but it was accidental. They too focused on the fate of the worker so they were present at the same rallies. But after her conversion, she was not one of them. She loved God and neighbor radically. Whatever her faults may have been, I have to admire that. Written by Susie As for the Catholic Worker movement. It spread very quickly to the wide world. There was little control from its founder. For example, there were several Catholic Worker magazines in cities around the world. Each of these was independent. There was not just one magazine translated into various languages. So there was no control from Day over what was in these magazines. Then why BE a "founder"? Why create a "brand name" if you're not going to control the nature and quality of the product? Sure, Day had a great product--and let others go out and use her name to peddle poison. As most of them are doing now. Written by Fr. Joseph Precisely, Fr. Joseph. It's a dubious defense indeed to claim that "[a]s for the Catholic Worker movement...[t]here was little control from its founder." It's unthinkable that Sts. Benedict, Dominic, Francis, Ignatius, etc. would have countenanced "peddling poison" in their names WHILE THEY WERE ALIVE and with their full knowledge. Day's acquiescence is the antithesis of Mother Angelica's heroic defiance when bishop Mahoney attempted (unsuccessfully) to persuade Rome to allow him and other bishops of his stripe to "have equal influence" in operating EWTN - "I'll blow the damn thing up before that happens," she promised. Amen, sister! Written by Tatum Polygamy is still illegal in Utah, and it is still practiced in Utah. The "plural" wives are often on welfare. Some of these "families" live in compounds out in the sticks, but most hide in plain sight in the suburbs. They don't advertise, but there is an underground culture that supports them. Occasionally, you'll see a slip in public -- e.g. a theater program in which one actor mentioned his "families" -- plural. Ya gotta laugh. Written by k Well Fr. Joseph and Tatum, (I would have responded sooner but was w/o internet.) I'll just have to cry "uncle" here. I don't know enough about why Dorothy Day did not have control over the individual Catholic Worker movements nor what she could have done to stop the spread of "poison" in its name, nor the degree of knowledge she had. Could it be she was too busy serving God and neighbor to chase after these separate movements or sue for the sole use of the name "Catholic Worker?" I mean this truly with no sarcasm. Written by Susie Please tell us what you have done to further the cause of social justice in your lifetime. Written by Gayle |
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