Mark...excellent piece. IMO, the contraceptive mentality is the root of what has gone horribly wrong in the West...its the assertion of self over all others that you describe. In this mentality, we simultaneously reach social anarchy and a form of statism aimed at enforcing that anarchy.

The result is counterfeit everything...food, family, and love. Nothing is real, everything and everyone is disposable.

If the West doesn't put down the latex and pills and back away soon...and I think we have perhaps a generation to do this...there may not be a civilization to save.

Mickey, when you say put down the pills and latex, I hope you also mean the Viagra, which certainly interferes with God's cycles of infertility.

I agree with the church's overall teaching, but I find it lacking in terms of women who really would be endangering their health by getting pregnant again (like me).

I have nothing good to say about Viagra and the rest of that nonsense. But it is patently wrong to compare it with latex and pills. The latter are intended to thwart a natural function, the former, to restore it. Whether it ought to be restored is another matter, but it cannot be ruled out prima facie. Of course, usually in these cases, whether people are using the latex or the little blue pills, we are talking about people who want the pleasure above all, and not the child.

The Church has great sympathy for those people who would suffer physically should they become pregnant. Anna, you are in need of spiritual counseling, though, and not an exception from the moral rule; ends don't justify means, especially when those ends become precedents for other people.

Indeed, there are very good reasons to avoid conception. The health of the mother is a very good one. Also, spacing births means that the mother's body can replentish itself and be properly prepared to nourish the new baby, also allow the scars from a difficult delivery to heal properly. Also, the couple's finances might strain to the point that they must sacrifice the education of the oldest children to provide for the younger, or the economic strain might mean falling from middle class into poverty, and only those who have gone through that can tell you what that means.

It is good to remember that continence is an answer, but only to those who are willing to be continent. What about couples in which only one partner wants to be continent? What about cultures where the husband has an automatic right to sexual activity and if the woman presumes to deny him, gets beaten, and everyone will say that she deserves it? What a choice, endure a life threatening pregnancy, or be beaten as a bad wife.
Not much hope there from Catholic teaching there, really.

This argument about continence reminds me of the campaing for the Ruhr that Arthur Koestler tells in his memoirs. Back in his days as a Communist, the Party was asked what position to take on the plesbicite about returning the Ruhr to a Germany under Nazi rule. The answer was that Party members were to vote for a "Red Ruhr inside a Red Germany", something that was a very useful guide if Germany had been Red, but worse than useless in the present situation.

By all means let us strive for continence, but let us recognize that a lot of people are not there yet, and let us try to minimize the damage their imperfection can cause.

If you do not agree, I have a proposition for you. Gather all your breakable valuables on a low table, and I will bring in several 4 year olds to play, and will tell you that you must not put them away, because the children are supposed to have self control and not touch the stuff - and that you you put them away they will never lear proper behavior.

Now, are not women's lives as valuable as your breakables?

I think an understanding of our faith is needed. All through the bible, God bestows "blessings" on the faithful. Those blessings were not material riches or powerful positions, they were usually children. One story in the Old Testament, I can't remember where but the guy was struck dead for withdrawing and disposing of his sperm on the ground. I think God was pretty clear what he wanted. The points Andianna has made, I know I have made to some degree as well. I have only come to realize just recently how much I have offended God. I was not open to God's will and did not trust in him. This is not an easy conclusion to arrive at. It is hard to seperate this world and our lifestyle with God's wishes. Through much prayer and time in front of the Eucharist, I am at least on my way. I am looking into Natural Family Planning--please check into this Ann. In 1968 Pope Paul VI put out the encyclical Humane Vitae. It foretold what would happen if contraception became the norm in society. From divorce to total lack of respect of woman were just two of his predictions. Pretty much, all of them have come true in someway or another. When one starts to really immerse themselves into their faith. The answers to these questions usually can be found.

The only difference between the Pill and NFP is that the Pill is under the woman's entire control. If a man refuses to follow the chart, the woman will pay and the man will walk away Scot free, and the Church won't do anything about it. (And please don't insult me with repeating that the Church condemns men who ditch their responsibilities. The Church's protests in cases like that are about as effective as writing a nasty letter to Exxon was in cleaning up the Valdez spill.) Pregnancy affects only women; therefore it ought to be entirely in our control.

Also, do you really believe that men respected women before the Pill and only quit in 1968?

Karen,
I am not going to argue with any of your points. If we want to live in the secular world, they all make sense, and they are all legitmate. A Catholic spiritual world is quite different. It is not an easy world and answers are not always clear. If you let God lead you instead of yourself, he will not fail you.
Have you ever read any saint stories? They will all have one thing in common. The person always faced many obstacles. Sometimes even death, but in the end they were rewarded with eternal salvation for honoring Christ. Yes men have treated women poorly before 1968. Today women are treated much worse in their entirety because of so called woman's right to choose birth control-whether it is contraception or abortion. The underlining message is no one needs to take responsibility for their actions neither the man or woman. Why is it we always have to put all woman in the same category? Each women's life is different and God has a plan for all of us. If we are faithful to him he guarantees eternal salvation not happiness here on earth. Believe it or not I have argued many of times your same points. Until I decided to take my spiritual life more serious and not pick and choose what I want to believe and not believe did I see things differently. God presents each of us with our trials, tribulations and crosses. He wants us to embrace them and connect them with his.

...since the various pills/patches/shots/IUD's all act as abortifacients a significant percentage of the time. Indeed, causing an early abortion is the main way the IUD works.
Among the true contraceptives, only the diaphragm is female-controlled . The rest are male-controlled - condoms, spermicides, and withdrawal.

Laurie: In a better world responsibility would be shared between men and women. But you have to admit that responsibility demanded of only one partner is encouraging irresponsability in the other. Until the Catholic Church does a much better job of preaching, and enforcing, male responsibilty, then it has no reason to complain about female irresponsibility. Lopsided responsibility leads to irresponsibitly. Telling women to be responsible while being silent about men falls in the same cathegory of blaming rape victims for dressing provocatively, or battered wives for not properly "submitting" to their masters.

You may think that being the subservient,dominated, ill-used partner a sort of blessing, and a call to sainthood. I got news for you, for every saint that overcomes adversity, there are least ten who succumb to it and become bitter and petty by it. Should I thrown you into a fiery furnace, because Shadrach, Meschnach and Abdenego were unharmed? Should I throw you to the lions because Daniel made it out OK?

So, until you can come up with a plan to preach and enforce responsibility in males, stop criticizng the females. People get tired of carrying all the weight and bearing all the blame.

The only person I can be responsible for is myself. I want to follow church doctrine. I think that is suppose to be required by only practicing Catholics. I totally agree education is required by the church but it also the resposibility of the laity. God wanted a man and woman to have sex after they got married. It is society who decided to have it before. Yes a women has done nothing wrong when rape occurs, but how about mutual agreed on sex? She did have a choice, just like the man. As unfortunate as it is, a woman deciding to have sex with a man she is not married to takes on the responsibility of the consequences. I wish this was not the case, but in most cases it is. What is the solution? Don't have sex before marriage. I speak from experience. I regret past decisions in my youthful years. I wish I knew my faith better back than. I am trying to educate my children in regards to their faith and keeping their virginity. I do not know if I am succeeding. It is hard to be faithful in this society. I turn to prayer and lots of it. As for being a saint, I only wish. I know I pretty much fail on a daily basis. I am just in love with my faith, I want to honor it in all ways.

Give me a break! So women are always the poor victims and men are always the irresponsible perps! That feminist propaganda is an old and tired dog that won't hunt any more. Abortion and birth control prevent more than life--they prevent people from growing up and dealing with reality; from contending with the real opportunity to live for something other than ourselves. Freedom to vamp and contracept doesn't liberate women; in fact it enslaves them to the prison of self. A woman who has lost respect for her femininity and her sexuality invites poor treatment from men. Responsibility is a two-way street for men and women.

Don't worry about me Tony, I'm fine and not in need of spiritual counseling

Thanks Laurie, well aware of NFP. Good luck to you.

RK: The double standard in sex is a matter of historical record. I did not invent it. Feminist propaganda did not invent it. It exists and the Chruch condoned it.

So, now both partners are being irresponsible. Better? Worse? In any case it is powerful warning that there should be a better way of handle the problem than letting only one partner bear the responsibility and shrug off the irresponsibilty of the other.

Can you understand that women got tired of watching men screw up with the serene understanding that the women would have to do the cleaning up afterwars?

And it is not yet past. There are too many places where the double standard is so much alive to the point that the male has the right to kill a female that he thinks is "impure". Too many places where a man can beat a wife who tries to practice continence for reasons of health. Too many places where rape victims are punished while the offenders walk away.

Are you aware that in the Cairo conference the Catholic Church joined forces with Muslims, even though the Muslim word is rife with "honor killings", which means that any girl who gets pregnant outside of marriage has gasoline poured on her and is set on fire, and somehow the Muslim religious leadership does not seem too fazed by it. Are you going to tell me that someone who accepts an ally who practices honor killings cares for human life?

Let the Catholic Chruch denounce honor killings, which are even practiced by Christian groups (in fact, it was only in the sixties that Italian law took away "honor" as a justification for the murder of a wife, until then, it was OK, and the Catholic Chruch did not trouble itself with it), and I will take more seriously its commitment to life, and to the well-being of women.

There are only 3 100% effective methods of birth control:

1) total abstinence

2) male castration (not vasectomy)

3) female castration (not tubal ligation)

Only the third option above would allow for continued intercourse, but it would also lead to many health problems for the woman.

NFP is as effective as the hormonal methods of birth control and can be made even more effective if practiced more conservatively than by following the customary guidelines.

No? So, if neither you nor feminist propaganda invented it, who did?

I'm not defending rapists or honor killing (and neither does the church), but I fail to see how you can draw broad and comprehensive conclusions about men and women based on what you must admit is are relatively isolated instances of mistreatment. How many women have been raped and how many have been killed for honor? Very few. These are horrible things when they occur, but, in the greater scheme of things, it happens infrequently.

I've heard unmarried women claim that marriage is rape. Can you appreciate why it's difficult to take people who say such things seriously? To suggest that feminist propaganda doesn't play a role in forming western women strains credulity. Men are sometimes abusive; women are too. Abuse of all kinds is a horror, but every marriage will have challenges and difficulties. Challenges are not abuse.

The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women. The reasons can be, and often are, frivolous. The era of no-fault divorce has removed the stigma of divorce and even made it a badge of honor for some women. In the meantime, they damage families, children, and even themselves. Too many women have foolishly embraced a self indulgent notion of victimization which they use as a cudgel to create "equality" and their own quixotic version of happiness.

I don't believe that women are better off when they have easier access to contraception, abortion, and divorce. They have somehow been seduced into thinking that these divisive and murderous actions are liberating rather than soul destroying. Advocates for these actions claim to be the saviors of women when, in fact, they hate women and their true feminine natures.

Adriana, your animosity toward the Church seems inappropriate. Whereas the Church has made mistakes, She has never stopped providing the grace and consolation that is sorely needed by mankind (womankind) in this sometimes trying world.

An interesting article in theory, but we don't live in theory, we live in reality, and often reality is such that people just cannot handle more and more children. Also, some people should not be parents. I see that Mel Gibson's girlfriend is pregnant: He is now "Ocoto-Mel" with soon to be 8 children. Perhaps he is taking that "Fruitful and mulitply" business a bit too seriously?

To Beth,

Uh, when did I say I was looking for birth control advice on here?

But thank you, I didn't know that male castration was an option.

Adrianna:

I believe the Muslim nations joined with the Vatican (along with Argentina and Malta) by backing the Church's position on a specific issue, abortion!

Do you find fault with this? Should the Church have publicly rejected the support?

I'm curious.

I'm not sure about before 1968 as I was born around then, but I do know for sure that men's attitude to sex and women is what it is today because of the pill. The attitude I'm alluding to is neither noble nor respectful, and the fact that women actually enable that under the false illusion that they are "in control" is one of the greatest tragedies and deceptions of our time.

Most women would vehemently agree that it is totally inappropriate for a women to be treated as a sexual object. However the bald faced irony is that that is exactly what the pill has done through the Trojan horse of "control". I am a married man, but I can tell you that the vast majority of men I have worked and dealt with have an extremely casual attitude to sex, completely divorced from responsibility and any sort of commitment. This would only be possible if women reciprocated, which of course they do. I am totally convinced that whatever men's view of women was prior to 1968, it has regressed light years since then. This regression has been made possible by the pill, by women's ready and overwhelming acceptance of the pill, by the ubitiquous presence of ever more explicit and degrading pornography which in turn is made possible by the pill and abortion. All of this has taken place in a society which has "progressed" towards widespread acceptance of casual relationships replacing marriage, and many "marriages" now consciously exclude children, and sometimes have "open" attitudes to extramarital relationships.

The divorce from responsibility means that men and women now live in a perpetual state of pathologically narcissistic adolescence where sexual attractiveness and availability is the primary object of life. Pleasure must be wrung from every experience and from each other. Such people (unfortunately that is most of us) are incapable of giving life to each other, much less of giving rise to new life.

The words of St Paul are ever more relevant today, "who will save this body doomed to death?". Thank God for his son Jesus Christ who is our only hope, for the Church which stands as a monumental bulwark in the path of the vicious onslaught which is being waged against us, and for teachings like humanae vitae which give us clear light to guide our path through the fog that all too easily clouds our judgement.

I find it curious that many posters timidly avoid mention of the greatest purveyors of contraceptive devices - brothels. What else are the pills, the IUDs, condoms and the like but devices to allow males to escape any responsibility. And they are as degrading to the male as to the woman. It is the degradation of our natures which is worst result.

Mutual masturbation.

A big big problem with NFP, by the way, is the fact that it means a woman has to abstain from sex during the time of the month when she is MOST interested in having it ... and the time of the month when she is (how do I put this delicately?) most likely to have a satisfying time. This is a crucial point that I rarely see acknowledged in any discussion of the topic.

There are implications here for the unitive aspect of sexuality, that's for sure.

NFP nearly killed my mother and left her incontinent from childbirth fistulas. Promoters lie about its effectiveness since old sperm can live several days past women's infertile cycle, then impregnate them with defective genes. A Nazi study proved merely scaring women caused them to ovulate out of cycle. Moreover, three weeks of abstinence each month is insulting to couples and reduces them to incubating slaves of pedophile priests, which is the point of NFP. Promoters insult women by keeping sex deadly on behalf of pedophile priests who are the primary beneficiaries of conveniently dead mothers. Bankrupting childbirth injuries and severely disabled unwanted children cause most men to leave. What's wrong with being a sex object?--Any SENSIBLE woman with functioning hormones and a nice spouse would eagerly prefer being a sex object over an abandoned incontinent, mastectomied brood mare whose kids are all molested by priests! Look no further than Newt Gingrich, Randall Terry and Mel Gibson for such despicable looksist betrayals of their aging has-been first brood mares. Indeed, obstetric incontinence was the main reason the Church banned marriage for priests. Another reason was women being the wrong gender. Since NFP also results in a higher rate of birth defects, it probably also increases male/female fraternal twin and chimera intersexed GAY children. Jesus never condemned the mid-wife abortionists and abortifacient Queen Ann's Lace gatherers of his day because he was disgusted by the Mel Gibsons who traded in their brood mares. Who would patronize a misogynist-run restaurant that indulged male diners but only allowed female diners dangerously spoiled slop?--Yet this is the pedophile-coddling Vatican's heretic nonsense on sex. Moreover, Paul VI, who wrote the matricidal Humanae Vitae, should have been hung at Nuremburg for funding the Nazi Catholic Croatian genocide of a MILLION Christian Serb "heretics" in WWII. Google Vatican Bank Claims for the truth about "pro-life" Paul. My mother was told by a philandering Baltimore priest to burn all my skin off as her permanent marital abstinence only excuse to save her life. Meanwhile, the same priest treated himself and my dad to hookers. I wish mom had aborted me instead. Any woman who is lucky enough to have a spouse should not throw her husband and health away for criminal Munchausen by Proxy PEDOPHILE priests.

Every woman has right to dream of having a baby. Tubal reversal allows a woman the ability to conceive naturally without any harm. Although tubal ligation is considered a permanent method of birth control, but at some later stage you think that you have done something wrong and you should not have done tubal ligation. But don’t worry; in approximately 90% of cases the procedure can be reversed.

This article caught my eye because I had an appointment with my ObGyn today and was struck by her ignorance of NFP, her assumption that it was a mere "rhythm" method, and her lack of inquiry into my personal experiences. (She assumed that pregnancies after our second child - which sadly ended in miscarriage - were a result of my failure to use artificial means of birth control.) Her lack of understanding of NFP is widely reflected in the medical community and, indeed, among many committed Catholics.

I don't have the expertise to comment upon the various strongly held reasons expressed in these comments about the reasons that NFP may not work (abusive men, lack of mutual commitment within a marriage, pedofilia, social-cultural environment, etc.) I appreciate these arguments and find deep consideration about them to be important and meaningful, but also think that some dialogue should occur around the harmful effects of dismissing all of the Church's teachings on this subject based on concerns that they may not always work. It is also worth exploring how our current social/cultural environment undermines our ability to practice fully these teachings and how that operates to the detriment of families, marriages, and individuals.

I have found NFP to be extremely effective, both in terms of preventing and achieving pregnancy, when desired. I find it empowering (appeals to the feminist in me) to know exactly when I am fertile. Our marriage has benefitted from the conversations that we have had around this topic and the mutual control we've exercised, when necessary. Perhaps others would have different experiences; those are important, as is the Church's practical support of all of those in need. However, it is also important to explore why such positive experiences are denied to many for whom they would work.

I am fortunate to have had strong support; a friend is a NFP counselor and I had a series of informative sessions with her in which my reproductive biology was explained and as I learned to track my cycle, she continued to coach me, offering ongoing supportive, expertise, and guidance. And yet, this level of practical support is not often available - she's the only trained NFP coach in our large urban area and her business is under supported by our archdiocese, which seems to lack a practical commitment to the importance of the Church's teaching on such matters.

In short, I think that critique about the Church's teachings on this matter IS important, esp. as it raises relevant problems that need to be addressed. However, it is also important to look affirmatively at ways to support the many positive outcomes of this teaching, appropriating it in ways that make us stronger as individuals, families, and communities.

Ellen,
It saddens me to read such a hateful post as yours. I am sorry for your mother's health issues, but some of the things you wrote are not only cruel, they are totally inaccurate. It is not worth debating any of your comments because I don't think that was your motive in writing them. So, instead I will include you in my prayers. I hope you can find so peace in your life.

I am not hateful, but the way the church and too many men treat women is hateful. If you google obstetric fistulas, Vatican Bank Claims, and the Hidden from History web site on Christian and Catholic abuse of Native American kids, you'll find I've barely scratched the surface of ONGOING Catholic crimes against humanity. Were you visiting some other planet when Ireland released its report on the pervasive abuse of 30,000 children by Catholic clergy? NFP should never be made the only available means of birth control in any country. If it works for you, that's your business, but don't criminalize what other women find workable. You should also google symphysiotomy in Ireland to get a clue of pedophile-serving medical abuse against mothers. Really, you ought to read "Unholy Trinity" by Australian journalist Mark Aarons and former Justice Dept. Nazi hunter/CATHOLIC John Loftus regarding the Vatican during WWII. It's jaw dropping and explains current American politics. I can recommend a zillion other books on related subjects.

Ellen, all of the websites you posted have a hidden agenda. NFP does not require any chemicals to enter your body, you are simply abstaining from sex on certain days of the month. If a women was celibate for years before marriage and than partakes in sexual activity, she of course would suffer the same symtoms. America Medical Association as well as other prominent sorces have never claimed this to be a side effect for practicing NFP. Just because something is on the internet does not mean it is true. Unfortnately, as I said before your comments are more about the dissatifaction with the Catholic Church. For some reason you are compelled to visit Catholic sites to express your anger at the Catholic Church. No one should give up this beautiful faith because of the sins of a priest, nun, pope or whoever. That is what is so great about our faith, the faith, the doctrine, the tradition, and the Holy Eucharist will always remain in our church depite the sins of men and women. As I said before your pain runs deeper than the topic at hand. I pray for peace in your heart. Try praying the rosary for a little while. I think you would be surprised how different you might feel. God is there for you Ellen, he wants you to submit to him and let go of your anger. May God Bless You.

Ellen,
You have done a lot of reading! I suggest reading Pope Paul VI's encyclical, Humanae Vitae, and the scriptures mentioned in the article above and Pope John Paul II's great work, Theology of the Body. I have learned that a fully formed conscience requires that I fully inform it. My prayers are with you and all who are so angry with the Church about this and other teachings. I understand, I used to be angry about it too.

But guess what? It was this teaching about contraception that helped me realize that God loves me and that he wants the best for me. NFP improved my marriage and I began to trust my husband again because sex was not a "given" at any time, etc. and we began to talk about our reasons for wanting to become pregnant or not. So many other reasons too! We lost our fear of pregnancy and of the "baby." That is a true heart conversion! Oh, I wish I could convey to you how much God has done for me! Whenever fear has been replaced with hope and trust, my life has been immeasurably improved.

Contraception imperfects the conjugal act between a husband and wife because it does not allow for the possibility of conception. The marital act was designed by God for husband and wife to show their love for one another AND to procreate. When that act is broken into only one of those two purposes, it is imperfect and truly disabled. God wants us to have His perfect gift.

Church teaching allows that if a husband and wife have a serious or just reason not to become pregnant they may abstain during the fertile time. This is possible through use of NFP. Also inherent in NFP is the constant openness to the potential for life. I love that my husband loves and respects ALL of me, even my fertility and that I love and appreciate ALL of him, even his fertility. Boy, is this counter-cultural or what?!

Many arguments against the Church's teaching in this area simply come down to the fact that we are children who want what we want and won't listen to anyone else because we are afraid and don't truly know the facts. That would be my case. Thank You God, that You are patient and have laid my fears to rest! We are blessed because our quiver is ever so full.